The Sangre Chronicles

am i back?

2011-07-14T01:12:00.005+08:00

I am trying to blog again. years after I wrote my last. I don't really know why I stopped, but now I am finding more reasons not to start writing again.

For one, my most ardent reader, my biggest fan is gone, leaving me thinking if my life is worth writing about, again.

So I will take small steps, baby steps, and see where this will take me.

A friend once asked (I don't remember exactly what his question was, but it was to this effect...): "What will make you happy, or make you feel fulfilled or successful?" Without batting an eyelash, I told him: " Ever since Daddy passed on, I cannot see how I can ever feel fulfilled, be successful or truly happy, knowing that a big part of me is now missing, someone who has been the biggest influence, supporter and mentor."

So I take things slow now. One day at a time. Small steps. Baby steps.

I'm stuck at twenty-five.

2009-01-10T02:16:00.003+08:00

Yesterday afternoon, I was having an animated conversation with a colleague while we were eating shing-a-ling at my desk. She was telling me about her experience working in a convent school and the disappointing yet hilarious instances when she had to deal with the quirks of her boss. Somewhere along the conversation, the topic centered on age. She mentioned that at her age (39) she often feels and sometimes thinks or acts like she’s still 18. Then she asked me, how about you what age are you in? I thought for a second and said, “I feel that I’m stuck at 25.”

Now that I ponder why I said that, I realize that I really am stuck at 25. While my looks would defy that statement to the hilt, my mind says a different thing.

Some proof that I still am 25…

I still get surprised or amused when I hear of former classmates/schoolmates who get married or have a child.

I still enjoy playing computer games and can last one whole weekend in front of my laptop running the lives of my SIMS™.

I still like playing pranks on people or fooling around with my friends. I still laugh heartily and without care in the world if something is really funny.

I still feel that there is so much to learn in the world especially in terms of the career path I’ve taken. Thank God I have a boss who likes to teach as much as I like to learn.

I’m still irresponsible and impulsive when it comes to handling money and still feel that it’s not the most important thing in the world.

I still feel emotionally unequipped to have a child.

I still laze around the TV even if there are stacks of dirty dishes on my sink.

I still sleep late even when I get migraines from lack of it.

I still enjoy junk food and put in as much fat and salt in my diet.

I still enjoy the company of twenty-somethings, who make up my circle of friends at work.

I still get a pimple every now and then.

I still look at each day as a fresh new start, an opportunity to make a big difference (which I sometimes do not dare take).

But then again, no matter how many times I tell myself I am 25, these things happen to my days:

My joints ache when I wake up to a cold morning.

I pay bills and shop for grocery to run my household.

The government takes out 32% off my paycheck for taxes.

The songs of my teens are now classics, and some have been revived by new singers.

Two of my nephews are teenagers now, one will be a high school freshman by June.

My younger sister is 30 and her little one is now a year old.

My laughlines are more pronounced and I see more grey hair on my head.

--------------------------------------------------------

Maybe time did pass, I just refused to acknowledge it. Hoping that by doing so I can believe that the decisions of my past will not permanently engrave my future.

And now at thirty-five, I'd like to believe that I still have plenty of future left. I can feel it in my bones (which go creak on a cold morning).

A Night of Freeloading

2008-12-15T16:40:00.002+08:00

In early December, my office friends and I decided to have a fancy Christmas dinner as a way to reward ourselves. By fancy, we meant splurging on buffet at a five-star hotel. The first choice if of course Manila Diamond since Mark’s dad works there and so we have a better chance of getting a discount. On December 11, we went through with the plan but sadly, Ela and Enny couldn’t make it because of previous engagements. So Pia and I braved the Ortigas-Makati-Manila traffic in order to get to Manila Diamond where Mark was already nearing unconsciousness because of hunger.

When we arrived, Mark was already having his soup and soon after his dad called, looking for him. The General (Mark’s Dad) then came to sit with us over dinner, much to Mark’s disappointment. But when his dad started ordering different dishes straight from the kitchen, we were all thankful that he was there with us.

The menu theme for Thursday night was Spanish so most of the food fare were sumptuous, spicy and flavorful. We tried sampling everything but we had to leave room for dessert. Good thing we did because the cakes and pastries were heavenly! We even tried asking the chef if they can sell us whole cakes, but sadly, they don’t do that in their hotel.

Much later, Mark’s mom came, done with her spa treatment. They stayed for a while and when they said goodbye, they left us with a special treat… dinner is free! We thought that we were just getting a good discount but Mark’s dad footed the bill.

After dinner, we did a photo op at the hotel lobby. Manila Diamond has a very interesting Christmas tree so we thought of taking our pics with it.

We capped the night with coffee at Starbucks Magallanes. We were all feeling dizzy while making our orders and we all thought that it was probably from all the food we ate earlier. It was not even 12am then but we were feeling sleepy already. Pia attributed it to age, Mark from being tired from work, and me from having late nights for more than a week. Soon after we said goodbye and took separate rides home. It was weekday after all and there’s still work the next day.

It is always great being with these two, even if i have to be the "bridge" all the time.

Dinner @ Kabisera

2008-11-30T10:27:00.003+08:00

Spent Friday night with old friends at Bonifacio High Street. We gathered to celebrate Minnie and Princess' birthdays which fall in November. Princess chose Kabisera sa Dencio's at B3 which was perfect since I live about 10 minutes away from the place.

Now the trouble was getting there from Ortigas where I work. I of course chose to ride with Annie and Tonton while I told Lyndon to go straight to BHS since he will be coming from our house in Pasig. Traffic that night was terrible; it took us almost 2 hours to get there much to the chagrin of everyone who were there on time.

After dinner, the group decided to have a nightcap at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. Being partial to my favorite coffe shop, I excused myself for a few minutes and with Annie in tow, we proceeded to buy Dark Cherry Mocha (for me) and Toffee Nut Latte (for Lyndon) at Starbucks. More jeers and cheers later, then it was time to pack up.

I found it funny that as we were walking to OT's car, Rex was complaining that it was already too late...man, it was only 1:00AM! And earlier, after dinner, Jon's eyelids were already dropping saying he's too tired - this at 11PM! Do I see signs of aging from the younger ones in our group (by younger, I mean younger by months)?

As usual, I took some pictures for posterity...

Kira Isobel turns 1!

2008-11-29T20:54:00.004+08:00

We had a blast at my niece's first birthday party last November 22. The theme was Mexican Fiesta, and my sister Dionne and bro-in-law Joven put much of their energies (and dough) to make sure that all guests will have a great time.

For Issie, i made a short AVP that was shown during the party. It features her monthly celebrations and some milestones of her first year.

More about the party on Issie's multiply site and Dionne and Joven's blog.

Bora Diaries

2008-11-29T11:32:00.008+08:00

Prologue
We planned it in August, me and 2 of my closest friends in the office. But when the date of our vacation drew near, Mark had to back out because of work responsibilities. Pia and I decided to go through with the plan – a 4-day holiday in Boracay. It was my first trip to the famous beach getaway so this blog about the experience is inevitable. I am writing while sitting at our favorite spot, and elevated veranda on the beachfront. This is where we took our meals, chilled out, drank wine, and talked about everything under the sun (during inebriated and sober moments) for the past 3 days. It’s our last night in Bora and while we miss people at home, we can’t help but wish the night will be longer.

Day One

Our flight was at 6:30AM and so I had to be in the airport by 5am, but Lyndon is such a freak, he woke me up at 3:30 so we can leave our place at 4am. Since the airport is only about 20 minutes away (sans bad traffic) from our place, we were there super early and had to wait a few minutes before Pia arrived. We still had plenty of time before boarding so we decided to grab some coffee first. Good thing the airport has a Kopi Roti stall so we had a perfect cup of brew before we got ready for our flight. A quick hug from Lyndon then Pia and I proceeded to gate 131. When I saw our ride (52-seater propeller plane) I felt a tight knot in my stomach since I’ve never been on a small plane. But the flight was smooth (except for a few airpockets and 6 noisy Koreans behind our seat) and we touched down Caticlan airport after 45 minutes.

Efficient and courteous staff from our hotel readily carried our luggage and led us to the van that will bring us to the ferry boat. 10 minutes after, our boat was taxiing towards the beaches of Boracay. Another 5-minute van ride and we were at the hotel. We chose La Carmela de Boracay because the rates were affordable and it was right on the beach. But we had to wait for almost an hour before we could finally check-in since there were a number of guests who came ahead of us. We also had to request for another room because the one given to us was quite small and the terrace was right across the new building being constructed.

That afternoon, we decided to make the beach wait and walked to find a nice place to eat breakfast. We settled on Mango Ray, a beach front restaurant that served tapsilog (beef strips, fried rice and eggs). After breakfast we went back to our room for a quick shower and some sightseeing. We then returned to the hotel to grab lunch, which we hardly touched being still full from our big breakfast. This was when we found our favorite spot. After lunch, we went back to the room because Pia had to finish some work that has to be sent to the office before the week ends.

We stayed at our favorite spot for the rest of the afternoon and when the sun was out we decided to avail of the buffet dinner the hotel was offering. It was Mongolian night, and frankly, I did not enjoy it, one bit. So we just took pictures instead.

After dinner, we again went sightseeing. The different resorts were already in a festive mood and a number of tourists have already found their party place for the evening. I didn’t realize that we’ve already walked about 2 kilometers until I felt my legs getting stiff and my butt starting to ache; it was as if I was on the treadmill for an hour without taking a break. We decided to rest first before and chose Zucchero Café to grab something to eat before heading back to the hotel. I had a Banana Strawberry smoothie while Pia had Banana Split. I was the one craving for Ice Cream but I couldn’t find a single store selling our product. After our sugar dose, we walked back to the hotel. As we approached the lobby we asked if there was still massage service available and good thing there was. 10 minutes later, 2 masseuse were knocking on our door. The experience was heavenly! We both slept like babies after having the massage.

Day Two

We woke up at 8am, but was able to get out of our room past 9am. Good thing breakfast was still available. After breakfast, we went back to the room to shower and change, this time putting on swimsuits and gobs of sunblock. Since the sun was at its hottest, being almost lunchtime, we decided to check out the hotel’s internet shop first. Me to check on emails and visit facebook, Pia to email some work stuff to the office. When I opened my YM, my former boss and mentor was on-line so I typed a quick hello. We ended up chatting on YM for the rest of the morning. We had to say goodbye because it was already lunch time for me and dinner time for him (he’s now living in the US with his family).

After lunch, we headed for the beach. Despite my initial dislike for saltwater, I had a great time swimming, errrr wading in the waters. The temperature was just right and the weather as great. When we went back to our beach beds, Pia decided she wanted another massage and called on one of the old ladies offering their services to tourists along the beach. When it was time to pay for the massage, Pia realized she only had 20 bucks on her so she ran off to have her bigger bills changed. It was then that she told me about Cerealicious, a cute stall right beside our hotel. I then decided to give it a try.

While waiting for the “Jumango” (a cold cereal concoction with mangoes, milk, honey cereals and strawberry syrup) I ordered, another customer – a tall Caucasian lady – asked me if I were “Filipinnish”. I said yes and she complimented me on how my hair is so dark and shiny, and asked if my curls were natural. We chatted for a while as I tried to explain to her why her “chocnut” shake does not contain any nuts at all. She again approached me while I was happily digging into my ice cold cereal, and started chatting with Pia and me. We learned that she came from Germany and that her name was Claudia. Her husband Piant and her just came in that morning from Taal Lake and after Boracay they will be going to Negros, the third leg of their tour. She was surprised to learn that it was my first time in Bora when Manila is just an hour away. She and her husband have been coming back to Boracay for the past few years even if they have to travel thousands if miles and several hours just to get there. She was quite a chatterbox and was so inquisitive about Filipino culture. She also has an easy laughter and while we don’t understand some of the things she is saying, we can’t help but laugh with her. Before she left, we asked if we can take a picture with her as a souvenir of our pleasant conversation.

After sunset, we proceeded to our favorite spot where our dinner was served. The menu wasn’t too pleasing for Pia so she ordered a few more add-ons to our meal. Later we ordered a bottle of red wine and the night began to get better. Our conversation centered mostly on work, family and relationships; our topics varied from the most trivial to the most significant aspects of life and honestly, it was the best conversation we had. Now I realize, there’s nothing like a good bottle of wine to loosen our tongues and liven up our spirit. But that doesn’t mean I will trade our regular coffee sessions for red wine – that is another major life choice altogether. When we were ready to call it a night, we found ourselves finishing off our third bottle of wine. To this day, we both cannot remember how we got from the hotel lobby to our room. All we remember is taking a picture along the way, and then our hotel room door was right in front of us. Amazing.

Day Three

We woke up a bit late the following day and since we were both still hungover, we decided to take it slow. We had coffee in our room and spent plenty of time just lazing around. That morning, we didn’t make it to the prescribed time for breakfast at the hotel so we stepped out to look for another restaurant that would still serve us breakfast at 11am. Luckily we found Paraiso Bar, another beachfront resto that has a “make your own breakfast” menu. We had beef tapa (again), eggs and bacon with rice. Yummy! Plus they serve brewed coffee in a tall mug – a big plus factor for me.

After breakfast, we went off to buy “pasalubong” at d’mall. I was able to buy all my pasalubong in one store, since I’m not really the type who would canvass the area first before buying anything. Pia on the other hand happily trotted from one store to the next.

Since we were already tired from walking, we rode a tricycle back to the hotel. It was past 2PM already but good thing, the hotel restaurant still served us lunch, which we didn’t touch much, being too tired or too full from the cold not-as-good-as-starbucks coffee drink we grabbed along the way.

After the late lunch, we went to see the nearest tattoo artist and got ourselves henna tattoo just for kicks. Pia picked a butterfly figure which she had tattooed on her back while I found interest on a group of Chinese characters that was supposed to read “No Satisfaction.” We both thought it was perfect for us, since the phrase says a lot about our Bora experience, and even more about how we see ourselves in the present.

We had to wait a couple of hours for the tattoo to dry so it was almost sunset when we decided to take another dip at the ocean. The weather was a bit cooler, it being late in the afternoon already. It was then that we saw “them.” Much to my horror, there were little silver fishes swimming with us. Sure, it was the ocean, and as Pia said “this is their home!” but I just can’t feel comfortable knowing that there were living things moving underwater while I waded in the waters. Pia was laughing while I freaked out.

At dinner, I went back to our room to get dressed and get the half empty bottle of wine from the previous night. We again settled at our favorite spot. Since it was still too early to drink, I decided to start writing this blog as Pia went to the hotel’s internet shop. When she returned, the hotel was featuring 3 fire dancers by the beach to entertain the buffet diners. It was quite amusing but towards the end the dancers started making mistakes, one even burned his scarf while dancing. All in all, it was still amusing to watch.

After our second bottle of wine, it started drizzling so we had to find another area to occupy. Good thing our server for the night, Jay was very attentive and while we ran to the nearest shelter, he carried all our belongings and let us settle in the restaurant’s veranda where we had a roof over our head and a great view of the beach. The restaurant is supposed to be closed for the night but they allowed us to stay there for as long as we wanted. I then started playing some music with my laptop, much to Pia’s delight – I never realized she’s such a music maniac that she knows the lyrics of most songs I have in my file. However, the rain started pouring and I was afraid that my dearest treasure (my laptop) will get wet so I had to place a sarong over it. After we finished our last glass, we decided to head back to the room and settle for the night.

When we got back to the room, Pia realized that she hasn’t had her fill for the night so we tried calling room service to order 2 more glasses of wine. But much to our dismay, we couldn’t get through the phone line so I walked to the hotel lobby to place our order. Soon after, our order arrived and Pia happily plugged in her Ipod and soon we were singing along with the tunes.

I didn’t realize it was almost 2am until I started feeling lightheaded from sleepiness. I didn’t dare finish my half-filled wine glass and gave the rest to my roommate who was still up and about after our very long day. But sleep won me over so I just climbed up my bed and tucked myself under the covers. Next thing I know, the sun was up and we had to start packing our stuff for check out time.

Day Four

Pia wanted to make the most of the beach hence we stepped out of our room early so we can have breakfast and take another dip in the water before packing. I decided that I didn’t want to swim anymore and would just stay on the beach to take some pictures. We ate breakfast by the restaurant veranda and as we looked out, we saw how beautiful the scenery was. Since it was low tide, the beach was even bigger and the ocean was shallow even if you have walked quite far from the shore. The sun was also shining brightly, a stark contrast from the previous night’s rain. The view, the weather, the backdrop was just fantastic. Sadly, in a few hours it had to end.

We had to go back to our room because check-out was at 12 noon. I realized that I still had to buy a few pearl earrings before we go home but I was already low on cash so I told Pia to go ahead while I went to the nearby ATM. When I got back to the hotel, I decided to sit again at our favorite spot for one last time and ordered myself a mango shake. I sat there for about an hour…drinking in the whole experience of the past four days.

It was then that I realized, I should be giving myself more moments like these. I’ll be 35 in January and I just shudder at the thought that I’ve never allowed myself this luxury in a long, long time.

After checking out, we parked our luggage at the hotel desk and went out to get lunch. We settled at ARIA, where we had tomato and basil pizza and a marinara pasta. Pia wasn’t feeling well; she started feeling whoozy when she went back to our room after her swim, and so she didn’t enjoy lunch as much as I did. After lunch we looked for a pharmacy so she can get meds for her vertigo, a bad thing to have when we are supposed to be getting on a plane in a few hours.

We again took a walk around d’mall and looked for a few more things to take home. Pia found a nice bead necklace at Nothing but Water and a couple more items at a nearby store – the vertigo did nothing to stop this shop-a-holic from getting a good bargain. We took another tricycle ride home and stopped a while to take a picture of an amusing sign we saw earlier.

We only has to wait a few minutes before our ride to the airport came. As briskly as we were brought there, we were whisked off to the Caticlan port for the ferry ride. Reaching the Caticlan Airport, we were informed that there’s going to be a major change in our flight back home. Since the airlines was experiencing delay since morning, our flight (which was last one, out of Caticlan) will not be allowed to depart anymore since it will be too dark already by the time our plane is ready. Instead, they will shuttle us by bus to Kalibo (a good 1 ½ hour ride) where we will be allowed to board a plane back to Manila. Now, this is bad for me, I never liked long drives, especially if we will traverse unfamiliar rough roads in the dark. But then again, we had no choice. As a service recovery effort, the airline provided us with dinner, but it did nothing to appease the other passengers. Pia on the other hand was ultra cool, amusing herself with listening to the passengers screaming at the airline personnel. I don’t know if it was the anti-vertigo drugs she took, but I didn’t detect a hint of displeasure the whole time we were waiting for the bus that will take us to Kalibo.

It was almost dark when the bus arrived and as we settled in our seats, Pia put on her headphones and slept. It was then that I started feeling nauseous, being cramped in my seat and with the driver maniacally maneuvering the bus to our destination. It didn’t help that the bus was playing a gory movie where there was blood and human parts at every scene. I tried sleeping but the constant honking of the bus driver – perhaps to get people and other vehicles out of the way – didn’t help me any.

Just as we stepped out of the bus, our plane was ready for boarding. We landed in Manila a few minutes after 9PM, 3 hours delayed from our supposed arrival time. Since Pia wasn’t feeling well, I told her to go on home while I waited for Lyndon at the airport lobby. A few minutes after, Lyndon arrived and we headed home.

It was a Sunday night, and the next day I will be reporting back to the office. Back to my old life, back to my real life.

Epilogue

My tattoo has now faded. My tan beginning to disappear. But I’ve found a new favorite place on earth.

Other arms reach out to me, other eyes smile tenderly
Still in peaceful dreams I see the road leads back to you
Bora, no peace I find…
Just an old sweet song keeps Bora on my mind

Nine Months After

2008-10-12T14:41:00.006+08:00

Spent last night with my closest friends, celebrating Rex’s birthday at their beautiful home in Cainta. The night started with a wonderful dinner cooked by OT’s mom. We feasted on Karekare, Pork Barbecue, Bopis, Stuffed Squid and Pancit Lucban. Dessert was a choice of ice cream (not our brand, so I didn’t choose that) or leche flan. No booze for me last night so I had San Mig Coffee instead (2 sachets in one cup).

After dinner, the boys proceeded to the backyard while the girls started looking up pictures in Annie’s laptop. We then figured that we don’t have any new pictures and decided that it’s time we take new ones. So, the photo shoot started.

Prior to the photo shoot, Annie felt like primping us a bit since she thought we would look pale in the pictures so she brought out her make-up paraphernalia and started working on Princess and me. The shoot was a lot of fun because as we were trying to find the best shot (one that would win its way to Annie’s friendster profile) we ended up having candid shots that looked totally ridiculous!

Towards the end of the get together, we all joined the boys at the backyard and looked up Minnie’s website featuring Anton’s tae kwon do practice. Don’t mess with the kid, he’s got great potential in the sport. More jeers and funny anecdotes followed then we called it a night with an agreement to meet again the following week, this time at Chuck and Princess’ home in Paranaque.

I can’t believe it has been nine months since we last saw each other. So much has happened in each of our lives since January and yet we are the same comfortable bunch. Not much has changed – Chuck and his quest for unemployment, Princess and her baked goodies, OT and her easy laughter, Rex and his color change after a bottle of beer. Minnie and her baby hair, Jon and his stories about Anton and Gian. Tony and his “sociable” ways, Annie and her healthy eating habits, me and my red lipstick.

Put it all together and you will find a group of friends who appreciate and take pride in each other’s accomplishments, who have learned to accept each other for all their eccentricities and shortcomings; a cast of would be’s and wannabe’s, haves and have nots, can do and cannots at different phases and aspects of life. But most important is how, because of years together, they give a delightful sense of comfort, similar to an new t-shirt the you wore proudly all the time, and even as years passed - despite the tears and the holes - you refused to throw it away; you later turned it to a favorite nigh shirt, one that gives you the most comfortable slumber.

Issie

2008-10-11T04:25:00.002+08:00

Found this site and tried it on for size...

Create Fake Magazine Covers with your own picture at MagMyPic.com

I'll Always be his Baby

2008-09-16T00:00:00.000+08:00

Let me tell you about the man in my life.

A not-so-tall, dark and handsome man who has touched my life in enormous ways.

He has a great sense of humor and can carry a good conversation any time.

He is a great friend, a sensible advisor and a staunch critic - depending on what you need him to be at a particular moment.

He likes to paint, loves to cook and enjoys reading. Saying that we share the same interests would be an understatement, because we are in many ways, alike.

He has a profound understanding of life, much of which was derived from experience and then some from commom sense. Life lessons he eagerly shares to those who are willing (or needed) to listen.

He is a prayerful soul and a faithful servant of the Lord. A trait I struggle to emulate every single day of my life.

He has other women, sure. One he calls “Ne”, the other Sweetheart, and still another, his Bunso.

He would often call me Honey. But I love it most when he calls me his Baby.

Let's celebrate your next together. But for now, Happy 67th Daddy!

this is for my dad, but you can read it if you want to...

2008-06-13T01:16:00.004+08:00

Many years ago, I had a notebook where I wrote down little things I remember about my dad. Each item started with “I remember when…”

I intended to put them in little pieces of paper, put it in a jar and give it to him as a gift. My dad delights on little things his kids make for him. Too bad, I cannot find the notebook now so I will make an attempt to recreate what I wrote down many years ago.

I remember when…

You always drink cold water after you brush your teeth, and form an “O” with your mouth after you chug down a glass of water.

You bend your knees when you fix your hair on mommie’s “tokador” because the mirror is too low (I wonder why you didn’t just sit on a chair?).

You love playing pranks on your kids like the time you came home wearing a gorilla mask or the time you placed a poop paper mache on the bed.

Your heart broke when Digger got lost and drove around the neighborhood for more than an hour hoping to find him (I was pretty sure you were crying the whole time)

You give me a special massage every time my legs ache when it’s cold.

You rub my neck with Vicks and wrap it with bandanna when I have sore throat.

You pour your coffee on a saucer when it’s too hot to drink, then place it back in the cup when its a bit cooler.

You like eating pan de sal with butter and coco jam and would willingly make one for us when we eat breakfast together.

You let the one seated beside you in the car lead the morning prayer as you drive us to school in the morning.

You drove us around Makati during the holidays so we can see the Christmas lights and decorations of office buildings.

You tuck me and Dionne in every night and make us into little “sumans,” and pat us to sleep while singing “meme”

You and mommie speak in English everytime you talk about the little kids (and you thought we didn’t understand! Hahaha!)

You hire janitors in school so I don’t have to carry my bags when I go up the stairs.

You don't tell on me when I have stale uneaten sandwiches in my bag because you know Mommie would go ballistic.

You like recreating drawings you find in the encyclopedia (mostly skeletons) because you thought we would probably need it for some school project.

You make most of my projects for art class and always had your art work placed on the bulletin board because of high marks (as if my teachers believed I made it myself!). My favorite was the horse you made out of corkboard. That was the best!

You brought in a truckload of old newspaper (which you bought from a junk yard) so that our class would win the newspaper fund drive. We did, and got a swimming holiday for a prize.

You were a local heartthrob in my school and most of my teachers had a crush on you. They even gave you a pet name – James Bond.

You watch basketball every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday night. And the TV was off limits to all of us. We only had one TV those days and so we all secretly wished all basketball players would perish so we can watch other shows instead.

We drive as far as Greenhills to rent movies for our betamax, and you rented Dynasty and Falcon Crest so you wouldn’t have to follow it on TV.

You make us take a tablespoon of honey before going to bed, saying that it will make us sleep well.

You use the brown bag technique everytime we get hiccups and is quite successful in “catching” our hiccups in the bag.

On New Year’s Eve, you take us to Roxas Boulevard to look for the biggest and loudest “torotot.”

You make me wear headphones on New Year’s eve so I won’t hear the firecrackers.

You give us nicknames which up to now I wonder where you get. Bandangera, Burakda, Buleleng. I was “Bandang” for many years.

You make the trip to the drug store quite exciting because of “Horlicks.”

You come home, open your attaché case and its filled with beginner bras which you bought from an officemate (imagine, instead of Mommie, you were the one who bought me my first bra!).

You make it a point to be in every school presentation and once I was disappointed when you didn’t watch my performance as Jane of Aza. Later that night, you explained that you had to go to an important meeting.

You like giving other people rides in your rickety Volkswagen beetle which has seen better days.

………………………………………..

I have daddy to thank for having the best childhood. Looking back, I see myself laughing most of the time. We thrived on Daddy’s jokes, and flourished on his words of wisdom.

There is still so much I remember and all those memories – while simple and irrelevant to most – make me realize that I have a dad:

who is funny but serious about his role,

who is handsome but knows how to make fun of himself,

who is weird but uniquely charming,

who is thoughtful and giving,

who is prayerful and humble,

who is nurturing but teaches independence;

who can win the “Best Dad on Earth” award – hands down.

Happy Father’s Day Daddy!

it's out there

2008-06-08T22:29:00.004+08:00

I had an "aha! moment" this morning during church service. What I heard from our preacher today wasn't entirely new to me but I sure realized many things because he put them into words.

Today's life lesson was about wealth. Claiming it, growing it and sharing it with others.

Abundance can be one's own if he makes a decision to claim it. All of us has access to unlimited wealth and the only difference is not all of us have decided to take the necessary steps to own it.

God wants all of us to succeed in life. If success meant having enough money for oneself and for sharing, that is exactly the state God wants us to be in. Like a good father who wishes only the best for his children, God has given each of us the equal amount of opportunity to become the best person we can be.

At the end of the session, we were given a fake 1000 peso bill in which we are to write down our financial goal. We had to write the exact amount of money we want to earn and a time goal when we want to attain it. I am yet to write my own. A part of me wants to write down a plausible enough goal because I am scared to take the challenge. But another part tells me that I can achieve the seemingly impossible.

My wealth is out there. i just have to learn how to get to it.

sorry, i had too much wine...

2008-06-07T22:26:00.003+08:00

I just looooooove long weekends! Monday is a holiday so in effect, i have three days off.

This morning, I woke up at 7AM because I forgot to turn off the alarm. Spent the entire morning tinkering with my laptop and playing freecell. I planned to do a general cleaning of my apartment but my loyal helper (aka Lyndon) was still sound asleep. We started cleaning at around 2PM after we ate a late lunch and now I'm quite satisfied that our place is spic and span.

Tonight I finished a bottle of red wine, in between net surfing. Tomorrow I'd go to church then face two hamper-full of dirty laundry. Maybe I'd clean the bathroom while the laundry's churning.

I haven't planned anything for Monday. Oh, the refrigerator repairman might drop in. Maybe I'll just veg out in front of the TV or spend the whole day with my SIMS.

Hooray for long weekends!

My life is boring, but I'm loving it!

Crossing my fingers

2008-05-21T00:26:00.007+08:00

Lately, I’ve been hanging out regularly with a couple of new friends who love coffee as much as I do. The irony of it is that we became closer after both have been transferred to other SMC businesses. We call ourselves the “Secret Council” since we share a lot of those when we are together. A night out with them can give you hiccups (not to mention gas) because of the hilarious moments we have when we’re together. I’m just glad I found new friends even after our work unit was trimmed down from 67 to 19, and after most, if not all of my closest friends in the office have either resigned or moved to other SMC businesses.

I’ve often boasted to many that I’ve stuck it out in SMC for four years (a record-breaker for me) because of the people I work with. I constantly hear people complain about the politics within the organization and had I been younger, my impulsive nature would jump on to the next available job elsewhere. Just to digress a bit, I got 3 job offers in a span of a week, all of which I turned down without batting an eyelash and this is probably why I am writing this blog; to document my feat! Haha!

I’ve talked to ex-SMC employees and while their new jobs pay higher, they still long for the unique culture of San Miguel. There are days when you are neck deep in deliverables, trying to beat the deadline while at the same time lacking the resources you need to get through. But there are also days when you can bask in the tranquility of day to day tasks that can wait on you while you spend a few minutes – sometimes exceeding 15 – at the upper mall (a.k.a. yo area).

I do experience the politics within, or witness the internal inequity, and I also feel anxious whenever some changes are implemented. But I’d like to say I found my home in SMC. Work has become more than just a way to get some dough every 15th or 30th. It has become a learning experience, an advocacy and a roller coaster ride rolled into one. Also, the familiar faces I see everyday from the time I enter the sliding doors make me feel comfortable.

More importantly, SMC is where I learned the most about myself and what I am capable of becoming. Thanks largely to the bosses I’ve had because they saw something in me that I myself cannot bring to acknowledge.

While I know that life doesn’t end after San Miguel and that there are greater opportunities outside, I still wish I can say for sure that this is where I will retire. So like everyone else in the organization, I just have to accept the fact that change is very much a part of the San Miguel culture. I just have to hope that when the next tide turns, I won’t be washed off to shore.

Happy 65th Birthday Mommie!

2008-03-30T22:30:00.006+08:00

We gave Mommie a surprise party for her 65th birthday. Together with my sisters, we went behind her back and became thieves (had to steal her old pictures from her "baul") and liars during the four weeks that we prepared for her party. Somewhere along the way we were getting nervous that she was smelling something cooking but the surprised look on her face during the party told us that we were successful.

Seeing her face light up that night when she saw all her friends and closest relatives in one room was worth all the trouble we went through. We were even able to bring in one of her brothers who had a stroke a couple of years ago. All her friends from her former work were there too. We invited a rondalla band for entertainment, played games, gave out prizes and fancy souvenirs and listened to testimonials from friends and family. There was even a video greeting from my dad, my brother and his family in Texas. One of the highlight of the evening was an AVP we prepared for her. It somehow sums up the woman that we call Mommie...

At the end of the party, our emcee (my best friend Annie) called her on stage. I never realized my mom was a good public speaker (it really is in my genes-hahaha!) until she began -- impromptu mind you -- telling the guests how thankful she is for her kids (ahem ahem!). What struck me most was when she said, "natupad ko ang mga pangarap ko dahil sa mga anak ko" (I realized all my dreams through my kids). She went on to say that she may not have realized her personal aspirations because of marriage and family, but the achievements of her children makes her feel that she actually did.

Since we were little, my siblings and I have known her to be a disciplinarian who would never allow her children to get into trouble. She is straightforward, a bit prudish and and one tough woman. She tended to all four of us while Daddy was working abroad. She brought us up emphasizing that education will be our best tool to have a better future.

I've never know my mom as an emotional woman...but that night, I saw tears of happiness in her eyes and heard her speak about her children with much pride in her voice.

I am thankful that we cooked up this party for her, because in a way, we were able to thank her for the many years that she dedicated to us.

Duh.

2008-02-19T00:00:00.001+08:00

Ten minutes before midnight, I’m at the living room tinkering on my computer, thinking of something to write about. Nothing comes to mind except the thought that it’s been 21 days since my last blog.

I wait.

And wait.

And wait some more.

“think about your day!”

“how about your weekend?”

“anything special happened on valentine’s day?”

“hmmmmm, how about the week when a healing priest came to your office?”

“your sister, write about your sister!”

“any thoughts on Lozada’s testimony?”

“you like Coffee Prince, right?”

“what is the essence of being a woman?”

Oh crap. I’m out.

Making Miracles

2008-01-27T16:44:00.001+08:00

We attended the first session of The Feast today and the topic was "How to be a Miracle Worker". It was the 4th of the 24 Building Blocks of the Champion's Life. Bo Sanchez talked about the 5 ways to create wonders in one's life.

Bo first mentioned that in Latin, the literal meaning of the word miracle is "something wonderful." These days we just associate "miracle" with "magic" or an occurence that is incredible and "out of this world." But if we revert to its original meaning, it is safe to say that we can always create miracles in our life. Having "something wonderful" happen to you can even be a daily occurence, if you will it to happen.

At one point in my life, I felt that I was neck deep in quicksand and any movement I make will make me sink even deeper and eventually take the living daylights out of me. I am talking about the time I left home and decided to be with Lyndon. I made a decision out of stubborness and pride and it severely affected my relationsip with my parents. It was a difficult time because not only were we financially unstable, we were also hurting my family really bad. I made some choices that I thought were right at that time, until the difficulties started pouring in. I was in a rut. We were deep in debt and living from paycheck to paycheck. I didn't know how to get out. There also came a point when I had to swallow my pride and move in with my sister, we just couldnt sustain living on our own anymore.

Those were dark days too because we had to abide by the rules of the household and animosity was beginning to broil. I was dying to move out again but my circumstances prevented me.

I was in a deeper rut. I never blamed the Lord for what was happening in our life because I knew perfectly well that my choices led me to where I was. However, I didn't also bother lifting a finger to ask for God's help. I told myself "I brought myself here, I'll bring myself out."

Then one day, Lyndon decided he would attend Bo's church service. We were being invited by his brother for so long but we never gave it a thought. He came back from the church service a different person. Soon after I started attending too. Little by little I came to realize that God has a better plan for my life. He doesn't want me to be in the mess that I am in. In fact, He wants me to be successful and achieve all my dreams.

Blessings then started pouring. For one, Lyndon got a permanent job. At 40, he was beginning to be desperate about the possibility of getting a full time job. I got retained amidst a major restructuring in our company with a promotion to top it off. We were able to move to a nice apartment building that fits our requirements and was within our budget. Most important of all we have been forgiven by my family and things are better between us.

My life today isn't all perfect. There are still days when I struggle. There are still moments when I blame myself for the mistakes of the past. There are still aspects of my life that need correcting. But I am better. I am healing and I'm learning to love myself more and more. I'm beginning to create miracles in my own life.

Celebrating Brokeness

2008-01-20T16:15:00.002+08:00

Just got back from church service and today is one special day because I was able to bring my sister to "The Feast." I've been bugging her to join us every Sunday because I know she will be blessed by the encounter.

A couple of days ago, I texted her and asked if she could come with me and she gave me a half-baked yes when she said "sana magising ako" because she knows that we normally attend the 7:30 service. This morning, I woke up a bit late (9am) and a few minutes later she was already knocking on our door. We both attended the 10AM service.

It was heartwarming because I've been praying for this for so long. I've been wanting her to attend because I know that there are so many things she wants to resolve in her life. I can see what she is going through and it breaks my heart that I cannot do anything to alleviate her situation. All I could offer is to lead her towards finding her faith again, and making her realize that there is Someone she can always come to when things are tough. I personally cannot change her circumstances, but all I can do is lead her to Someone who can.

The topic of Bo's talk today was all about "Celebrating Brokenness." He talked about how we tend to respond to our weaknesses in different ways. Some people take flight (by being angry and bitter), some fight it (by burying weakness in an addiction), while others fantasize (by covering it up and pretending that everything's on the up and up). The best way however is to feast;to celebrate one's brokenness by acknowledging it, sharing it with others, asking for help, blessing others with one's weakness and accepting other people's weakness as well.

Bo's talk also featured a video of a preacher who was born without arms and feet but he is able to take care of himself, and he continues to touch the lives of other people through his preaching. After watching the video, all of us had the same thought in our minds..."Who are we to complain?"

I know my sister thought the same and I truly believe that she was greatly blessed by the experience. We both had tears in our eyes while we were singing our praises and gave each other the warmest hug after.

I asked her to come with me again next week and this time she readily said "YES."

The Gifts of '07

2008-01-16T23:30:00.000+08:00

I guess I'm a couple of weeks late in writing this blog but then again i haven't found the time until now.

Last night, a tragedy happened. Lyndon left his brand new cellphone in the taxi. He called me up just before he stepped out of the cab so we knew exactly where he left it. It was barely 4 days old and friends who saw it said it was a good buy... well, now its a good bye (pun intended hahaha)! He was feeling so down that i had to tell him to just pray for the guy who got it, and hope that he be blessed by having it. I couldn't believe i told him that, PRAY i mean...but one of the greatest gifts '07 brought was the gift of prayer. I re-discovered prayer when we started attending The Feast in March'07 and since then, i started appreciating again the powers of faith and humility.

Aside from the above (and to further veer away from the sad story of the lost cellphone), let me make a list of the gifts (or blessing) i received in the past year. In no particular order, here it goes...

A new apartment that's big enough, nice enough and near enough (to my office and my sister's house).
A promotion that rewarded my hard work and added a few more cash to my pocket
A church service to attend that reinforces my faith and allows me to appreciate God's presence in my life (add to that, a roster of great preachers)
A stable job for Lyndon that improved our finances and boosted his self confidence.
A week-long vacation in Cebu with my mom that allowed us to rediscover each other and improved our relationship
A great boss (also a great friend and confidante), who allows me to soar as high as she believes I can
Great friends who despite my shortcomings are ready to forgive and (hopefully) forget
A best friend who has memorized and adapted to my quirks and remained to be one of my biggest fans.
My dad who roots for me in every endeavor I take and loves me beyond measure and understanding
My family who's always fun and funky, and all the good that comes with it.
Kira Isobel who at less than 2 months old is gearing up to be the next darling of the family
Wifi connection that allows me to hook up (through YM) with old friends who have been out of touch for years
The opportunity to stay in my job amidst the horrors of restructuring
TV fare that allows me relax on weekends or after a day's hard work
Jef and his squeals of delight when he sees me, and his great big hug to boot
"Tulisans" who remained to be good friends outside the walls of HOC

There's got to be more than what I listed here, because '07 was one good year for me...but the challenge has always been seeing that one moment, one person or thing as a true blessing.

Maybe I'll challenge myself this year, at the end of each day, I will write down one blessing that came my way. And by then end of '08, I would have a longer list.

I can't wait!

Quintupled!

2008-01-14T23:22:00.000+08:00

Turned 34 last week, and thus far this is the most number of times that I threw a party. Well, not really a party, just simple get togethers with friends and/or family to remind me that i'm well into mid 3o's. Jeez!

On my birthday, i took a vacation leave from work so i can spend the whole day tinkering with my new laptop and finding my way again through the world wide web. Got myself a broadband connection and hooked up with old friends through YM. I also cooked a simple dinner with Lyndon and Jen, and gave away spaghetti to the neighbors.

Went back to work the following day, feeling lightheaded because I was on line until 2am. Kisses and hugs from everyone who greeted me and had a fun lunch with Annie, Ayen, Mike and my boss. Odd group, but it turned out well. That afternoon, I ordered pizza and pasta for my officemates, my way of "giving back," having feasted on other people's birthday treat for the past 12 months.

Celebration #4 was with my mom and the whole family. We had dinner at Dencio's in Banawe and feasted on everything that would cause elevated cholesterol count. There was a live band, much to my mom's dismay: "too noisy, i can't hear myself think!" ...mom's thoughts probably. When the rest of the family left, Lyndon, Jen, Fel and I stayed a while for the music and a couple of beers then we headed home. I wanted to get a caffeine fix at starbucks but Lyndon insisted we head on home because he needed to commune with the toilet. Shucks!

Finally on the 13th, cooked dinner for my friends who came over and saw our apartment for the first time. We chose Sunday because it was also Annie's birthday the day before so we had to allow her to celebrate with her family.

5 celebrations for my 34th...how i come i don't feel celebrated? :D

Happy Birthday to me!

2008-01-10T16:02:00.000+08:00

Got myself wifi connected today. Maybe I will have more chances to blog now; been absent for quit a while.

Got myself a new laptop as well, as a long overdue gift to myself.

Cebu Holiday

2007-10-17T19:02:00.001+08:00

I was in Cebu for a week for a working holiday. I did a day’s work at our office there then attended a conference. I was with my mom whom I’ve invited to tag along so she can also get to see her relatives and we can attend her hometown’s fiesta.

September 25. I did not sleep a wink because I had to be at the airport by 3:00AM. At 4:30 we were on our way to Cebu. It was a short flight and so we were at our destination by 6:00AM. Mommie and I went straight to Castle Peak where we were booked for the night. I caught a couple of hours sleep before heading to our office in Mandaue where I had to evaluate training consultants who were applying for accreditation with our company. There were five applicants who were scheduled the whole day.

During lunchbreak, my officemates (Leo, Marlon and Nanding) from Cebu treated me to a sumptuous lunch at Salo-Salo, a native restaurant near the SMC Mandaue Complex. When the waiters started serving the food, I surmised that we won’t be able to finish everything. There were 6 types of viand on the table and there were only four of us. But lo and behold, 30 minutes after we started eating, there wasn’t a morsel left! Now that was my first taste of BISDAK (bisayang dako) hospitality. I nary had an idea that there would be more of these during my week’s stay in Cebu.

You can imagine how sleepy I was the rest of the afternoon. Having eaten too much, and without sleep, I was ready for dreamland. But then again there were 3 more people to interview and evaluate. So when the evaluation session was over, the company vehicle brought me back to the hotel. Mommie and I just ordered room service because neither of us had the energy to dine out. I was asleep by 9pm, when I normally sleep at 1am.

September 26. The following day, we moved to Waterfront Hotel where I was billeted for the duration of the conference I was attending. While I was in the conference, my mom would go out with her cousin, Tita Florinda whom I met for the first time and loved instantly. She said I am “gwapa,” Cebuano for pretty, now why wouldn’t I love her for that?! She was cool for a sixty-something and is very liberal minded.

That night, while my mom was out with her cousins, Jonnabel (another officemate from Manila) and I were treated to another sumptuous dinner by the same guys who treated me for lunch the day before. This time we ate at the Lighthouse, a popular restaurant in Gaisano Mall. These are what we feasted on: Halaan Soup (Clams), Binakol na Alimango (Crab meat in Coconut sauce), Garlic and cheese Oysters, Scallops, Sizzling Squid, Grilled Fish and Chicharong Bulaklak (pork intestines – yummy!). I had a couple of beers but couldn’t take more because all the food I ate took up too much space! We were chauffered back to the hotel and I was a bit surprised that my mom wasn’t back yet from her afternoon with her cousins. About an hour after she returned with a lot of stories about her long lost cousins. Before they parted ways, another date was set the following day, both for lunch and again for dinner. I had a throbbing headache that night, good thing my mom brought with her “polar bear” a Chinese eucalyptus liniment which made me feel better.

September 27. It was the day for concurrent sessions of the conference so in a day I was able to attend four learning session about diverse topics. I carefully chose the sessions I will attend and made sure that the speakers I will listen to are quite competent. I was busy the whole day, but half through it, I remembered I needed to buy another blouse for the sessions the following day. All I brought with me were sports shirts thinking that I can dress casually the whole time. Silly me, I didn’t bother reading the dress code before I packed my luggage. I only had a couple of business shirts and all the rest were just too casual. I asked my mom to buy one for me but she was hesitant that I would like her choice.

That night, after the sessions, I waited for my mom and my Tita Florinda to return from their afternoon rendezvous because we were going out for dinner with Tito Franklin, Tita Mimi and Tito Aguinaldo. They fetched us from the hotel and we went to Ayala Mall to have dinner at Café Laguna. The mall was about to close and I was quite anxious to buy a blouse I could use the following day. While my mom went along with her cousins to find the restaurant, Tita Florinda and I hurried to find a shop that was still open. Good thing Metro was still open and I was surprised that my aunt had already chosen a blouse for me that afternoon when she went out with my mom. She went straight to the rack and told me to try it on for size. Good thing it was nice on me. In five minutes, I had a new blouse to wear the next day.

Dinner was on me that night… whew, not on my budget at all! But it was fun being with my relatives. They kept reminiscing about their past, and I was listening intently trying to decipher every word because they were speaking in Cebuano. Before bringing us back to the hotel, my tita Florinda insisted that she be brought home first because she wanted me to meet her youngest daughter, my third cousin Duday. We were about the same age and she was very pleasant when we were introduced. Too bad she couldn’t come with us to Samboan that weekend because she has to work on Saturday. My Tita on the other hand just had a spinal operation so she wouldn’t stand a 3-hour drive because it was bad for her back.

September 28. Ah, the last day of the conference! The day started with a plenary session with speakers from different industries (academe, government, NGO, business, etc) talking about ways Human Resources practitioners can contribute to society. Blah blah blah… some were interesting and funny, while one was a tad depressing…

The morning session ended earlier than scheduled so we had time to freshen up before heading for another lunch treat by our Beer Division in Mandaue. This time all of us conference delegates from SMC where brought to Golden Cowrie, a native restaurant, a stone’s throw away from Waterfront Hotel. As expected it turned to a feast again, with our Cebuano officemates giving us another taste of Bisdak hospitality. Crispy Pata, Lechon Cebu, Pinakbet, Tuna sticks, Sinigang na hipon, Pandan chicken, etcetera etcetera. I was getting cross-eyed from overeating!

After lunch, we went back to the hotel to rest because the next session was to start at 4PM. That would be the culminating session where a former SMC employee (Imee Roberts) was conducting a “learning concert.” When she started speaking, we all felt proud that we are from San Miguel, because she kept mentioning how SMC has helped her become the successful person that she is now. She is now an accomplished HR practitioner in the US and has been awarded the Ellis Island Medal of Honor for exemplary contribution to society.

My mom and I just ordered room service that night, and settled early because the following day, we will be picked up by Tito Franklin and Tita Mimi for the trip to Samboan.

September 29. We checked out of the hotel and hit the road early so we could get to Samboan before lunch. I was asleep most of the ride but woke up just in time to see the sprawling beaches all the way to Samboan. The site was heavenly! Imagine, we were driving through a mountainous terrain but to our left was a white sand beach! Such beauty!

We got to Samboan in time for lunch, and it being the town fiesta, the dinner table was again full of food! Tita Nora welcomed us with open arms and immediately handed out plates so we could have lunch. I couldn’t eat as much probably because I was too tired. So I just went up to the bedroom reserved for my mom and me and slept all afternoon. The place was so laid back, there was hardly anything to keep one busy anyway.

When I woke up, I asked my mom if she could show me the beach. It was just a few meters away from my Tita Nora’s house. When we got there, my mom said there had been a few changes from the last time she was there (last year) because some quarrying had been done to the beach. But nevertheless it was still beautiful. We only stayed a few minutes because it was getting dark already. We took a different path going back to the house, this time traversing a 100+ staircase going up to the highway. Now, I was never good at climbing stairs so you can imagine how difficult it was going up the steep and slippery steps! All that time I was carrying a bagful of white stones I picked from the beach. I wanted to bring home a piece of the beach where my ancestors used to live.

September 30. We only stayed in Samboan overnight because if we were to return to the City on October 1, we might not have enough time to buy “pasalubong” before our 3PM flight. Tita Nora gave us a bagful of homemade cookies, and torta which was too heavy to carry. It filled up my mom’s overnight bag to the brim. We decided then that I will have to hand carry the bag because if we checked it in at the airport, we will be charged for exceeding the luggage weight limit.

Tito Franklin drove us to Sarrosa Hotel where my mom and I were to stay for the night. I decided to try it out because it looked nice from the outside. Bad decision! The hotel was old, drab and run down and the whole time I was afraid that bedbugs will eat my mom and me alive.

October 1. The next morning, my mom and I went to SM City early to buy “pasalubong.” We ended up with one big box full of goodies and another box of Lechon Cebu. We returned to the hotel to check out and headed to the airport. After we have checked in our luggage, we headed for the boarding lounge where we were to wait for our flight. But as my carry on baggage passed through the x-ray, the airport personnel saw something odd…

Stupid me, I forgot to pack my bagful of stones in my check-in luggage! They said they have to confiscate it because stones are considered as weapons. What?!!! Do I look like a crazed maniac that would just hurl stones at people while inside the plane! Of course I didn’t say that to their faces, after all they were just following SOP. Oh well, sentimental as I was, I had to let go of my precious stones, plucked from the beach where my ancestors once tread.

The plane we rode was small, seats less than 200, and the weather being bad, we experienced a lot of turbulence. It was like riding a roller coaster! I knew my mom was praying the whole time, while I was trying very hard not to regurgitate my lunch! When we finally touched down in Manila, I thanked the heavens each of us came home in one piece.

Alas my Cebu Holiday was over.

For the Birthday Girl

2007-09-11T08:15:00.000+08:00

While I know that it will take years for you to appreciate what I’ve written here, I want to dedicate this post to you, our little Angel. Happy 2nd Birthday darling!

If I were a fairy godmother these are my wishes for you, princess…

May you have Tita Dionne’s zest for adventure, passion for learning and love for pets… and may you also find (when the time is right) a prince charming that will sweep you off your feet.

May you have Tita Desire’s love for her siblings, which enables her to see beyond shortcomings, and give past what she is capable of… and may you also win the adoration of a lovable rogue even if he comes into your life unexpectedly.

May you have Lola Zeny’s principled ways, forgiving heart and pride in the accomplishments of her children… and may your cooking skills be at par with hers as well.

May you have Lolo Rene’s sensibility, wit and humor that will enable you to find delight even during inopportune situations… and may you earn the respect of people around you, for the significant role you play in their lives.

May you learn to love books, play fair, revere your elders, cook gourmet and give a great massage.

May you know how to stand up for your convictions without losing respect for the opinion of others.

May you learn to write with passion and speak your mind with eloquence to influence others positively.

May you dance gracefully, sing on key or know how to play an instrument; but learning all three wouldn’t be so bad.

May you always see what is bright and colorful about life, believe in yourself and learn to love and give unconditionally.

All these, I wish for you little girl, and I will pray that you grow up to be one fine lady; one that your brothers and parents will take pride on.

My Wishes

2007-07-26T18:21:00.000+08:00

I'd like to live when men were gentlemen and women were ladies, and everyone knew where they stood. Ideally, I'd like to be roused on a hammock on a tropical beach, where the sand is powder white and the sea the deepest sapphire blue, an during the day I'd prepare myself mentally for my concert at Wembley stadium; If I thought about it, I really need a big case of cash, no questions asked, and sometimes I wish I could be an artist, messing around with media and materials, really doing something new. I'd like to be invisible when I felt like it, because the possibilities are endless, and it would be amazing to hang out in an island of my own, in some far-off tropical sea, one never touched by human contact. Pets? a funny electronic dog from Japan, one who doesn't make mess, would do the trick for me. Finally I'd like to throw a party with a few old friends in the cellar of my favorite cantina, and maybe I'd invite an angel along, to bring a blessing on everyone there.

The Feast

2007-07-24T18:31:00.000+08:00

For the past four months, Lyndon and I have been attending The Feast every Sunday. It is a weekly gathering organized by the Light of Jesus Community, a Catholic Organization founded by Bo Sanchez.

For a number of years I’ve been remiss in religious obligations; I rarely went to church and consciously avoided every opportunity to do so. For me, putting up with an hour long church service was pure torment; I had to listen to an often boring if not difficult to understand homily. I had to mouth words (supposed to be prayers) that simply did not do much to strengthen my faith. I started to attend Protestant services and discovered that I felt more fulfilled and blessed singing songs of praise and listening to God’s word. It came to a point that I thought of leaving the Catholic Church and be baptized in Christian/Protestant rites. But having been brought up and educated in the Catholic faith, this was a very difficult choice to make. Not knowing how to proceed, I simply stopped going to church, Catholic or otherwise.

Then Lyndon’s brother and his wife invited us to join them at the Feast. For many years, they have been inviting us to attend church services with them, back when they used to hold gatherings at the AFP Theater. But their congregation grew in number and so they had to move to the Arena, a new sports complex in San Juan. The place was a lot nearer Pasig so we went one Sunday in April. Lyndon went first and he came home raving about the experience. I told myself, “If he could last all three hours of the church service and still come home feeling he wanted more of it – then this is something else.” I joined him the week after.

Since then, we try not to miss a single church service. The Feast starts with a Catholic mass, then “Praise and Worship” where we sing songs and dance and have fun while glorifying, thanking and worshiping the Lord. After which, an inspirational talk by one of the Kerygma preachers.

When before, attending a Sunday mass tested my patience, now I’ve come to appreciate and understand how each ritual is a vital part of my Catholic faith. The Praise and Worship that comes after allows me to profess my faith in the Lord, ask for forgiveness for my mistakes and glorify and thank Him for keeping me under his wing.

The inspirational talk that comes in the end allows me learn from gifted preachers (Bo Sanchez, Arun Gogna, Alvin Barcelona, Obet Cabrillas, Jon Escoto and Adrian Panganiban) who have become instruments of the Lord in spreading His Word.

Attending the Feast has done so much for me that I do not know how to begin counting. Being there every Sunday allows me to thank the Lord for all the blessings he showered me during the week that passed and affirm my faith that he will continue to sustain and protect me in the coming week.

I’ve been inviting my family and friends to come to the Feast as well, because I want them to experience the same kind of high that I get every week. I haven’t been too successful in this endeavor just yet. Maybe it will take a few years (as how it happened to me) but I will continue to prod and insist because the Feast will open doors for more blessings in their life.

I know. It happened to me.

rntmrls

2007-06-17T14:21:00.000+08:00

Thirty-nine. That’s the number of years he has been a father. With each offspring came greater responsibility; but Daddy cherished the role and played it superbly from the very start.

Thirty-three. That’s the number of years I’ve know him. If not for his fervent prayers I probably would not have made it past the age of one.

Four. That’s the number of children he brought to this world. All professionals now and attempting to make their own mark in the world; yet each knows that only Daddy can provide the best answers to all of life’s questions, and that he shall willingly show the way.

Almost five. That’s the number of grandchildren he has. He is a doting grandfather who balances strictness and slack; the coolest grandpa who gives the warmest hugs.

Twenty. That’s the number of years he has spent away from his family. Necessity might have taken him away from his brood, but he remains to be the head of the household.

One. That’s the number of times he gave me a spanking. Because he knows that a heart to heart conversation is better when disciplining a child. At a very young age, I realized and appreciated how my dad respected my thoughts and opinions and he eagerly listens to what I have to say.

Countless. That’s the number of time he has forgiven and understood my mistakes. Constantly assuring me that his love can go beyond my foolishness and faults; making sure that I am comforted with the thought that daddy loves me no matter what.

A million. That’s the number of times I want to say “ thank you Daddy” for being my provider, best friend, confidante, mentor and inspiration.

Love you Dad.

Leap of Faith

2007-06-13T10:38:00.000+08:00

18 months after I gave up my own studio unit and moved in with my big sister, I’m back to being independent again. By independent, I mean paying my own rent, utilities, groceries and looking for my own plumber when the need arises.

Lyndon and I moved to an apartment a couple of blocks away from my sister’s place in Pasig. It’s like creating another beginning, a fresh start, rebuilding my own niche and crossing my fingers that everything will be on the up and up from hereon. A leap of faith, I would like to call it, because while the first time I moved out of the house was a result of a harried and impulsive decision, this time I am planning each step of the way. I intend to make good on this choice and make sure that I will be in full control of my life this time.

I’m enjoying every minute of this. From re-painting the cheap furniture I bought from a flea market, to choosing the color for my curtains, to making sure that everything is in its place, I’m relishing every moment.

But I know it will not be a bed of roses all the way. I expect it will be difficult adjusting, paying the bills and taking responsibility for everything.

At 33, I’m learning to be a grown up (again).

Share-a-load, Sentro, Sweet Pea and Sipping Coffee

2007-06-04T22:47:00.000+08:00

I filed a vacation leave from the office today to meet up with my old friends from my previous work.

Audette and her husband Alfredo came to Manila from Sanfo for a three-week holiday and of course Cherish and I came to meet up with them. There’s actually four of us who have kept the friendship intact even after we left Stateland (the other part of our foursome, Cecille is in Illinois where she now resides with her husband).

We all met when we were in our early 20’s, completely clueless about how our lives will eventually unfold. 10 years later, we are still friends, still enjoying each other’s company and still laughing at and with each other ‘til our stomachs ache.

I remember when I first came to Stateland straight from my first job at the university. I was oblivious about corporate life, thinking that it will be hugely different from working in a laid back environment. One thing that I dreaded was making new friends (I was never good at it, having grown up with the same circle of friends from grade school). But on the first week of feeling my way around Binondo, I was approached by Audette. We learned that we take the same route going home and from then on we went home together. She was then residing in a boarding house a few minutes away from where I lived. Some days when it was difficult getting a ride, we traversed the stinky and filthy Quezon bridge from Lawton to Quiapo just to catch a jeepney en route to Dimasalang. I wouldn’t have braved that creepy overpass had I not been with Audette who keeps me engaged in her usual colorful anecdotes as we crossed the bridge.

We talked about everything under the sun. Long conversations that may seem trivial back then but it was what let us into each other’s lives. What I like about Audette is that when she tells stories about her family, she talks about them like you actually know them personally. So I knew her mom and dad, Charlene, Jeff and Hazel even before I actually met them.

She is also one passionate person. She puts her heart into the things she believes in. I may not believe in the same thing, but her passion wins my respect for her principles and values in life. And she in turn knows how to respect convictions different from hers.

While it is sad that she now lives in the US, thousands of miles away, I’m extremely delighted that she does with Alfredo, her perfect match. When she left the Philippines a few years back, there was nary a doubt in my heart that I will lose her friendship.

True enough, a few hours of being together today, proved that we can always pick up from where we left off.

Angelic Encounters

2007-04-16T16:10:00.000+08:00

I never liked kids. I find them too much to handle. They are loud, messy and constantly needing of attention. They need to be entertained, fed, bathed, taught, disciplined, put to bed, etc. Things I’d rather do for myself alone. I vowed not to have any kids in the future. I don’t want to be a mommy; it’s just too much responsibility for the likes of me.

But everything changed 12 years ago. A little boy came to the family and amused everyone with his big round eyes and curly hair. He was so tiny, a few ounces short of 5 pounds. He looked so fragile, so weak, but he made everyone feel light inside. Just a few days after his arrival, I knew I was in love.

I never thought it would be possible to fall in love twice, and at the same time. But exactly a year after the first angel came, a second cherub made its way to my heart. He was as small as the first and quite as fragile too. But the same thing happened, again I fell in love.

My life was never the same again with the 2 boys around. All of a sudden I was anticipating their every smirk, smile, coo and pout. A few months after, I graduated to first words, first steps, new expressions and new antics. Fast forward to pre-school years, I had to be up-to-date with news of their achievements in school; I had to be present in every major school event, and would sit proudly amongst the crowd, beaming at my two angels.

A few years ago, Gabriel and Rafael had to go to the states to be with their Dad (my kuya) for good. It was a heartbreaking time of my life, knowing that I will no longer be a first row spectator to their young lives. No more unexpected phone calls from radar because Gabriel didn’t want to finish his homework. No more encounters with a tearful Raffy because he didn’t want to take his medicine. No more squeals of delight when I bring treats home or fights to referee because someone didn’t have his turn with the PS2. No more butts to wash, faces to clean, hairs to comb. No more big hugs, wet kisses.

My two angels are big boys now. A few years shy of adolescence. I’ve missed a major part of their childhood, and I know that is something that can never be brought back. But I am thankful that they have grown into fine young men; smart, talented and respectful.

Gabriel and Raffy, Happy Birthday to you both. You are always in Tita Daph’s prayers. I miss you so much and I always pray that we’ll see each other again.

Tagaytay Getaway

2007-03-30T16:23:00.000+08:00

Friday to Sunday was jampacked with activities for me. I spent the past 2 weeks planning an out of town trip for my family, in time for my mom’s birthday. Since I was in Tagaytay in February, I thought why not have the whole family stay in SMC’s facility there? That way, they will get to see where I stay every time I do team building programs in Tagaytay. Also, the last time we were there as a family was when we brought my two little nephews to the Residence Inn Zoo. The two boys are in the US now and a whole lot bigger than they were back then.

A couple of days before Friday, I was asked by a colleague for assistance to co-facilitate a teambuilding program for Magnolia Inc. I was having second thoughts at first knowing that I will be in Tagaytay a day ahead of my family and wouldn’t have time with them until I finish my program on Saturday. But then again, I love facilitating team buildings so I said yes.

Early Friday morning I was on the road to Tagaytay already. There were a couple of outdoor activities that morning but stupid me, I didn’t bring my sun block. Not even a hat to cover my face! The following day, there were again a couple of outdoor activities and of course, without sun block, I ended up toasted and roasted under the sun!! (Now the problem is I’m emceeing a wedding reception this Saturday and my skin is all ruined! Good thing Annie is loaning me some make-up that will blend with my skin better.)

As I was doing the first activity on Saturday, I saw the van my family is riding entering the gate with Joven waving wildly from the front seat. That was around 10AM. I thought I would finish my program by 12noon but a number of delays happened so I ended up closing the program at 2:30! Aaaaargh! So they had to make do with amusing themselves as they waited for me.

After my program, I just took a shower and we all went out for the zoo trip. We really want Jeff to enjoy the zoo the way Gabriel and Rafi did. But this little boy is a scaredy-cat; he was running away from the caged animals! Especially when he saw the fake giant gorilla (the size of KingKong) by the entry way, he took the opposite route just so that he won’t be near the giant gorilla.

There was also a giant snake out of its cage which you could take a picture with for P20. Nanay and Mae took the bait and had their picture taken with the giant snake on their shoulders. Cool! It took us around 10 minutes trying to convince Joven to do the same, No luck there. I guess Jeff took after him hehehe.

We went down several flights of stairs to look at the different exotic birds and I had great difficulty going up and down the steps. Since it was cold, my knees were killing me again, especially since I’ve been on my feet, running and walking and standing for the past 2 days.

After the zoo trip, we went someplace where Jeff can go horseback riding. He’s been pestering the whole family about it since morning. We went to Viewsite restaurant where they are charging P250 for 10 rotations around the perimeter of the area. The area was so small that the ride would probably end in less than 20 minutes. So we looked for another place and found one which was charging P250 per hour. Jeff and Mae took turns riding the horse and I guess they enjoyed the experience. Jeff even wanted to ride again after dinner.

Dinner was at a road side bulaluhan. We were supposed to have a barbecue dinner inside MTC (Management Training Center) while having karaoke numbers but all 8 of my family members forgot about the marinated pork chops and chicken. But dinner was still yummy! We ordered bulalo (this shouldn’t be missed when in Tagaytay) sizzling sisig, sizzling shanghai and grilled squid. Thanks to mommie’s senior citizen card, we got a 20% discount (ay si Brad pala ang nagbayad)!

After dinner we went back to MTC, took showers then geared up for the karaoke session. But then again Ate and Fel were too tired running after Jeff, Mommie and Nanay just preferred watching TV and Mae has some studying to do. So that left Joven, Dionne and I having the karaoke machine all to ourselves. What’s funny is, we got to use all karaoke machines set up in MTC. We first sang at the 3rd floor lounge of the Training building, then the multi purpose lounge at the lodging house, then the dining room. Beat that!

My two companions got sleepy already at around 12pm so we decided to head back to our rooms. We almost fell down laughing, talking about our driver whom we were imagining to be a vampire. He was sleeping in Dionne and Joven’s room so we were kidding Brad that he will wake up in the middle of the night to bite him in the neck.

I woke up at around 6AM and since my elder sister was already up, I asked her to come with me in touring the grounds of the MTC. We went to the helipad and from there we saw Joven and Dionne already playing basketball at the outdoor court. Soon after we woke everyone up because breakfast was ready. We feasted on garlic rice, danggit, omelette, tocino and bananas with freshly brewed coffee to boot.

After breakfast we showered and got ready for check out. We were going to Calruega for the 11AM mass. We reached Caleruega shortly before 11AM and were able to take some more pictures before heading to the church on top of the hill.

After the mass we got on the road again this time headed for home. We stopped by a roadside plant store because mommie has been wanting to buy plants since the day before. She's really keen on her gardening and very good at it too! We also had a late lunch at Max's and a stopover at Rowena's for pasalubong before finally heading for Manila.

I had to be dropped off in Makati so I can go straight home to Pasig since I still had laundry to do. Good thing when I got home Lyndon was half through with the laundry so I actually had time to just watch TV and relax. My body was aching all over with all the walking and running (after Jeff) and climbing I had to do. I was sooo stressed out, both physically and mentally.

But it was all worth it. Weekend getaways like these seldom happen in our family, but I want to organize another family get-together like this before summer ends. Hopefully I can pull it off.

sunrise, sunset

2007-03-15T18:48:00.000+08:00

Finished a couple of paintings in the past few weeks. Hope to do more over the weekend.

sunrise...

...sunset.

split-second madness...lifetime consequences

2007-02-17T10:08:00.000+08:00

How do you get over losing someone in such a tragic way? Do you ever?

My best friend of over 20 years lost her brother one fateful February day. He spent four days in the ICU after being struck in the head with a blunt object. It was a deliberate act, the perpetrator’s way of getting even over something so insignificant. And because of that a wife lost the husband to whom she has dedicated her life. Because of that one stupid act, two boys will grow up, fighting their own battles, making sense of the world without a father to guide them through. A family will spend the rest of tomorrow asking questions they may never find the answers to.

The day I went to the hospital, I felt part of the pain that the rest of the family was feeling. I can only imagine the mixture of emotions they are experiencing…anger, grief, disbelief…

If only if it weren’t so sudden, if only there was a chance for a proper goodbye, an opportunity to assure that everything will be okay despite his leaving.

The greatest pain comes from knowing that his life was taken away by someone who did not think twice to measure how much his life is worth to his family and friends. Here is a man who is a great provider, a loving husband and a dutiful son, and yet his life is taken away in a spur of a moment, a result of a trivial issue that could have been easily resolved.

Words of condolences uttered may be worthless at the moment. It can never dull the pain no matter what. Words of assurance that he is now in the presence of his Maker, may even sound too condescending. For now I can only offer prayers for the family. Prayers to help them heal. There is no way to hasten the process of healing, it will be a rough and bumpy ride but the whole family must commit to hold hands throughout the journey.

I know it will take long, maybe years to understand why something like this has to happen. Only God knows the answers, only He knows why.

Reconnecting

2007-01-04T18:33:00.000+08:00

On Friday, after our yearend party in the office, I went to Katips in Scout Torrillo to meet up, this time with my grade school friends. I have been absent in a number of our get-togethers for months, so I took it upon myself to attend the party this time. Ms. Bong and Kuya Carlos willingly drove me to the place (despite its being quite a distance from their destination), so I arrived there in time for the 7:30 schedule. As expected, only Mike, the perennial early bird was there. I brought a couple of SMB bottle openers as a gift to the early birds so he got one from me right away. Soon after, Danette arrived (so she got the other bottle opener) and we started chatting away as we feasted on crispy liempo, pakbet and fried hito.

Seven more came (Jom, Darwin, Geoff, Ashley, Kit, Vernon and Ton) and arrived one by one; most of came from work while others from spending a day with their kids. As usual, the banters focused on grade school days as we tried to remember the names of our past teachers and schoolmates. What I love about this group is that while most of the time each of us is busy being an adult, when we get together, its grade school all over again; minus the pretenses and inanity of childhood. We just let our hair down and be who we have become. I likewise feel the sincerity of these people, and while I was not really close to them in grade school (they’ve always teased me about being snobbish when we were kids) I’m doubly pleased I found them again.

from L to R: Darwin, Vernon, Ashley, Kit, Ton, Geoff, Me and Jom; standing: Mike and Danette

We capped the night (or morning… it was past 2AM when we left Katips) with coffee, not really wanting to separate ways just yet. Jom needed 5 more stickers to get his complementary planner so all nine of us (minus Darwin who left earlier, his flight back to California was next day) trooped to Starbucks to make our contribution. And since we took part in his success (of getting enough stickers), we told Jom we will write him a dedication on the page of our birthdays.

Geoff and Jom drove me home since they were on their way to Las Piñas. I got home a few minutes before 4AM; the latest I’ve been out on a gimmick since time immemorial. We promised to see each other again a few days after my birthday…no problem…as long as I’m not expected to pick up the tab.

My December

2006-12-28T14:45:00.000+08:00

You can tell just how hectic the past month had been. Last entry was November 17? Really pathetic, I should say. But then again I didn’t have a choice. It’s either I’m too spent to blog or simply not in the mood.

In fact, I’m not in the mood to do anything worthwhile, like paint or read a book. I’m just too lazy these days! Must be the weather. Anyway, here is my attempt to look back at my December…

December 1 and 2
The long weekend was spent in Antipolo, conducting a Corporate Values Training Program for the HR department of one of our beer plants. The weather was cold, being in the boondocks, and the participants were just great. After the training program (which lasted up to 10PM, we then hied off to the restaurant penthouse for a Christmas party. I had a couple of beers but was just too tired to drink more.

December 9
Went to see my mom so I could buy her a dress for my friend’s wedding. She’s one of the principal sponsors so I promised her a gown for the event. Funny, my mom is “ninang” of all my friends who got married. Probably their way of thanking her for spending most afternoons at our house when we were in high school. We used to ransack our pantry for whatever food stock we can get our hands on (usually making do with Spam™ or corned beef) and my mom would return home from work finding her pantry raided yet again. She could only shake her head, realizing how ravenous teenagers could be.

December 14
Kat, John, and I together with 3 other officemates went to Alabang for an outreach program sponsored by our company. The Haven was a secluded institution which houses women who have experienced rape or abuse/maltreatment in their relationships. The women go through counseling and medical treatment (they have a small hospital there) and they are also taught livelihood skills to get them ready for life outside the institution. We went there to bring gifts and treat them to a sumptuous lunch. We also prepared a short program for them consisting of games and a dance number. Since I prepared the program, I was volunteered to be the emcee as well (sigh). However tiring the morning was, I felt pretty good knowing that I was able to help, in one way or another.

That night, John, Kat and I bought gifts for Sir Alvin and Ms. Bong at Kultura in Megamall. We also bought our exchange gifts for the OPD party on Saturday. My feet were killing me because of the new shoes I bought (I think they’re the wrong size). We had dinner at the food court were I devoured maki and tempura (yumyum!). Thankfully, Lyndon was with me because I was spent with all the walking we did. At least I had someone to carry my stuff and massage my feet afterwards.

December 15
The following day, we went to Tiendesitas (this time with Leo in tow), a nice flea market near our office. We ate dinner first, gearing up for the long night ahead; the place is quite big and it would take patience and stamina to go through all the villages. The stores are segregated into villages depending on what you intend to shop for (pets, clothes, household items, antiques, etc.). We finally gave up around 10pm, too tired to go on, and yet we haven’t explored the entire place. I went home with a few toys, blouses and whatnots.

December 16
On Saturday, I had to wake up very early because I had to go to Quezon City to buy chocolate bars for the fondue. I promised my boss I’d bring the fondue and the chocolates, so I had to go to my favorite baking store (Chocolate Lovers) , wait in line for 30 minutes (the place was jampacked!) then run to my mom’s house to get the fondue set. I had to make it back to Ortigas by 1:30 or I would miss the ride going to my boss’ house. I chose to ride the train to Ortigas, thinking that it will get me there faster, but lo and behold, the line was about a mile long! But I had to bear with it because getting a cab was out of the question. Getting a cab in Manila at the height of a Christmas Season is a miracle, if you believe in one…

I finally got to Ortigas at 2PM, and hitched a ride with Sir Alvin. We arrived at Ms. Beth’s house around 4PM, just in time for the party. Now let me talk in pictures so I can share what happened during the party

December 21
Our department, the Corporate Human Resources held its Christmas Party on Thursday afternoon. This year’s theme was movie awards night so each unit has to represent a particular movie and dress up in costumes. We chose to present Austin Powers – Goldmember so we had to don a 70’s get-up. It was fun! I even convinced my best friend to drop by during lunch break to attach false eyelashes on me. I later put on a 70’s make-up and let my hair go wild (as in, literally). People stared as I walked around the corridors of the office, but who cares?! I was having fun playing the part.

I later ended up with an award as the Female Star of the Night! Didn’t expect to win, not even sure if I liked the attention, but the jacket I won was cool! Funny thing, John won for the male counterpart…thanks to Kat for providing our wardrobe.

December 23
My good friends Rex and OT finally got married (after four years of going steady) at the Sacred Heart Church in Makati. Their wedding reception followed at the Wack-Wack Country Club(note: pictures to follow). Annie and I emceed at the reception and of course we were our usual silly selves. Rex wanted the program to be as light or even funny as possible. No problem with the latter because when Annie and I are on stage, we almost always end up like Abbot & Costello or Champoy even.

from L to R: Chuck, Tony, Annie, Vivien, Rex, OT, Princess, Me, Minnie, Ojie; below: Anton and Jon

However, there were also emotional parts in the program (uhm, not to our credit though) like when Rex and OT had their first dance. Rex sang the firs part of Forevermore, and I'm sure everyone in the room felt the intensity of the newlyweds' love for each other. I am praying that their marriage will be as happy and delightfully colorful as the wedding had been.

December 24
I slept over at my mom’s house after the wedding and spent the whole day in front of the computer, playing Mystery Case Files™. Before the day ended, I had an awful headache which lasted until Christmas day.

Mommie spent the whole day tinkering around the kitchen. We of course had our usual Noche Buena at 12 midnight with Jef almost half asleep but tremendously excited at the thought of opening his gifts (he’s been pestering the whole family about it since morning). But I did love the look on Jef’s face as he opened his WWE action figures one by one. It’s what you can call a Kodak™ moment.

Honestly, I’m quite sad that I don’t get excited anymore with the coming of Christmas. Probably because I tend to equate its coming with gift expenses, heavy traffic, obligations and all the other hassles that come with it. I remember when I used to anticipate our Noche Buena because of the prospect of getting to stay up late (when we were kids, bedtime was at 8:30) and getting gifts even! I don’t remember when Christmas has lost its glory for me. Probably when daddy left for the states. All of a sudden, my Christmas never felt the same.

This is the 20th Christmas dad, and yes I’m still counting.

three cats and a dog

2006-11-17T17:06:00.000+08:00

It took me two weeks to finish my second painting because I got an eye infection which caused my right eye to water incessantly. Had it checked by our company optalmologist and true enough, it was inflamed. He gave me anti-bacterial eye drops which i had to use for a week. Well, after a couple of days i stopped using it...too much fuss for me!

Now that I've finished my second painting, I'm feeling so impatient about getting my materials from the box my dad sent. I'm sure my third or fourth and onward will not be as nice as the first two, because i would be on my own by then.

Let me show you how my artwork turned out...

Sorry it's quite blurry...used my cellphone's camera for this shot

up close, now isn't that nice?

So, what should I call this painting now?

I, Horse

2006-11-03T18:13:00.000+08:00

I’ve acquired a new hobby.

I’ve been wanting to learn how to paint and follow the footsteps of my uncle, my aunt and of course my dad. He has taken up painting as a hobby a few years back and once he sent me a few of his finished works. They were small paintings of landscapes and seascapes and from then on I told myself I would someday learn to make something like that.

Last week, I received a small package from my dad containing two sets of paint-by-number art works. A paint-by number set consists of a canvas with a featured sketch, a set of numbered acrylic paints and a brush. All you have to do is follow the number codes, blend acrylic paints according to the codes and proceed with the painting.

I immediately started on the first one and here is what I came up with:

Not bad, according to my dad, and advised me to brace myself for the real thing. He has already sent my painting materials (brushes, an easel, canvasses, acrylic paints and lots of good luck) and they should be here by end of November. I’m so excited!

By the way, what do you think should I call my untitled artwork?

"Cool" Job

2006-11-01T18:10:00.000+08:00

October 29, Sunday was a working day for me. John (my officemate and friend) hied off to SMC’s Management Training Center in Tagaytay to conduct a 2-day Teambuilding Program for one of SMC’s packaging companies. San Miguel Yamamura Asia is a glass manufacturing company which supplies most of the glass packaging products in the market.

While waiting for our rooms at the lodging house, John and I took some pictures. It was very cold even though these pics were taken just right after lunch on Sunday.

Right outside the entertainment lounge of the MTC ldging house

How's that for a great view?

It was a rainy two-day teambuilding session (thanks to Typhoon Paeng) and due to the bad weather, we had to do our outdoor activities, indoors. We had to make do with the hallways of the training center for the activities; good thing we were able to meet our objectives.

With the participants from SMY Asia

The highlight of the teambuilding program was the inspirational talk of Fr. Armand Robleza, SMC’s resident chaplain. He talked about “The Passion and the Romance.” It has absolutely nothing to do with romance or passion in a sexual context; instead it centers on making oneself a source of inspiration through the values and principles that one lives by. Fr. Armand was his usual animated self, complete with sound effects and facial expressions; based on the evaluation results, the participants appreciated the session he conducted.

Monday after lunch, we were on our way back to Manila but had to stop by Starbucks because it was rather difficult to drive, with all the fog on the road. We took a couple of pictures for posterity:

John and I with Jonathan (standing) and Gilbert

this time with Ana, HR Manager of SMY Asia

Sipping a café latte, on a Monday afternoon, in the middle of cool Tagaytay air (while being paid) now that’s what I call, a cool job!

Why do I blog?

2006-10-23T20:32:00.000+08:00

Is it to virtually immortalize my existence? Is it to make my humdrum life appear somewhat interesting? Is it to clamor for attention or aspire for literary acclaim?

I write in my blog because I want to be a first-row spectator to my own life. I don’t care if people do not read my blog, or care if my entries are worth commenting on.

I write in my blog because there are moments, which a few years from now will not feel as intense or as important. There are days, which I just need and want to remember.

I write in my blog because there are life lessons I thought I learned but eventually forget. I need to review these learnings, for fear of failing again.

I write in my blog because I want to dedicate some entries to people who have inspired, touched, amused, hurt, moved, taught, angered or cheered me; people who make me experience what being human is all about.

I write in my blog because after days of battling responsibilities, making decisions, making mistakes, winning arguments and everything else, I want to contemplate my own thoughts, feelings and emotions.

Yeah, that’s it. That is why.

A letter to my sparring partner, little sister, confidante and friend.

2006-10-19T17:42:00.000+08:00

“It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure,

to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful.

There is more security in the adventurous and exciting,

for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.”

(Alan Cohen)

It will be almost three years since we first met, I remember you then as a tall, demure and seemingly shy girl when mother introduced you to the rest of the group. And you were! Well for the first few days at least… I also remember the first time you ate at the cafeteria; you were rather uncomfortable with the goings-on around you, like a lost sheep in a lion’s den. Since that time, you never looked back.

Little by little I came to know and appreciate the person that you are. I’ve seen your many moods (from a crying baby because someone told you off, to a hyperactive dance instructor, to a respectable program facilitator, to a dead serious SAP profile attach-er) and realized that one will never really get to know you without experiencing all of them. I’m glad I’ve been privy to most if not all your many sides because you’re one person truly worth having as a friend.

I won’t say goodbye, because this is not the time to do so. 6th floor maybe a few minutes away, but I am sincerely hoping that the distance will not affect what we tulisans have established. I cannot say that things will not change, but on my part, I promise to make the effort to ensure that you will remain in the loop. You will be missed of course; after all, it will just be blank panel now when I look to my left.

I also cannot assure you that things will be better for you this time; I can only pray that your move will allow you to acquire a wider perspective, one which will likewise permit you to know yourself and the role you would want to play in this world. I know you still have a lot of doubts at this point, but I admire your courage to start on that quest. I hope that later on, you’ll get the answers.

However uncertain, taxing or terrifying the road may be, you know where to find me.

411, 412 and then some

2006-10-17T16:54:00.000+08:00

Last Saturday, our group got together at Rex and OT’s soon-to-be house in Cainta. Rex bought the place a few months back and had some renovations made to suit him and OT when they move in after the wedding. Being quite near the place, Lyndon and I were the first to arrive. Soon after, everyone else did. It’s been more than 2 months since we all got together and I could say I missed the group. It was a long night of talking, ribbing and of course drinking (I had only one bottle of beer though). Thank goodness the boys did not have a deck of cards!

Our conversation that night ranged from basketball to my career decision to Tony’s incentives to OT’s selling 101 to Chuck and his truck (of narra) to Rex’s in law issues. I remember that even when we were still in high school, we’ve always preferred hanging out in one’s house to just talk. We were not the typical barkada who would party out, go barhopping, watch concerts or movies… we were content with just… talking. Of course we do go out, but a majority of our get-togethers was simply because, we wanted to see each other. Sometimes we get in each other’s nerves, but we’ve learned to live with each other’s quirks and we know each one’s disposition like the back of our hands.

Sometimes I can’t believe I’ve been friends with them for more than half my life. These are the people I literally grew up with, and through time, while I make friends with other people, they’re still the group I’d consider to keep up to the twilight years.

UST Tigers, UAAP Champions!

2006-10-02T18:47:00.000+08:00

After a 10-year drought, UST emerged as the 69th UAAP Men's Basketball Champion!

I wanted to watch the games at the Araneta, but of course I had to be in the office, so I just contented myself with the television in our Corporate Library. Of course, I couldn't scream my lungs out, so I almost had a heart attack!

To think, the Tigers had a difficult start in the elims and the semis, and yet they were able to surpass it all. I'm so proud to be a Thomasian!
Viva Sto. Tomas!

Grabbed from Dionne's site

2006-10-02T16:52:00.000+08:00

How do you like your eggs?:
with basil and mushrooms, cooked in olive oil

How do you take your coffee/tea:
coffee: brewed or instant, with creamer and a little sugar; tea: hot with muscovado rocks

Favorite breakfast foods:
I don’t usually eat breakfast, a good cup of coffee starts my day right

Peanut butter:
peter pan chunky with marmalade (mega sinful!)

What kind of dressing on your salad?:
creamy garlic or raspberry vinaigrette from goolai

Coke or Pepsi?:
Coca Cola please, light

You’re feeling lazy. What do you make?:
lucky me pancit canton chilimansi

You’re feeling really lazy. What kind of pizza do you order?:
everything on top (except anchovies)

You feel like cooking. What do you make?:
Pasta

Do any foods bring back good memories?:
Oh yes, my family loves to eat, eat and eat!

Do any foods remind you of someone?:
Both my parents are experts in the kitchen, my dad cooks a mean paella and turon, Mommie has a patented leche flan and adobo espanol recipe, My big sister cooks sumptuous pork kaldereta, Mama Pura and Kuya Carlos can concoct a superb laing, Lyndon cooks delicious papaitan, Princess makes great pastries from scratch, and although I haven’t tasted it, I’d like to try Ms. Bong’s oven toasted or rice-steamed hotdogs, hahahaha!

Is there a food you refuse to eat?:
chesa, tastes and looks like crap! And adobong pusit, blech!

What was your favorite food as a child?
Fried chicken, it still is my favorite

Is there a food that you hated as a child but now love?
Okra

Is there a food that you loved as a child but now hate?
I remember I used to eat adobong pusit but I developed a disgust for it now

Favorite fruit & vegetable:
Fruit – ripe mangoes Vegetable - okra

Favorite junk food:
Pringles

Favorite between meal snack:
water?

Do you have any weird food habits:
I cannot eat when my spoon and fork are of different sets.

You’re on a diet. What food(s) do you fill up on?
Dahon

How spicy do you order Indian/Thai?
I used to like really spciy dishes, but it’s not good for my stomach (I’m hyperacidic) so I’d say, “mild”

Can I get you a drink?
Ice cold water with meals, San Mig Light with pulutan

Red wine or white?
Red

We only have beer:
San Mig Super Dry please

Favorite dessert?
I don’t usually dig desserts, but if forced, I’ll take mango bravo (conti’s) any day.

Saturday Showdown

2006-10-01T19:45:00.000+08:00

My Saturday was a truly tiring one, but no regrets because it was filled with adventure from the time I woke up.

6AM, I was off to Barangay Socorro in Quezon City to participate in a medical mission sponsored by the Cuasay family. It was my friend Kat's dad's birthday, and for a different kind of celebration, they decided to organize a medical mission for the residents of their community. The day started with a holy mass then breakfast, then of course the medical mission.

Our group (friends from SMC composed of Bong, Alvin, John and Jaize) were assigned at the Pediatrics section. While they were assigned at the registration table, I was assigned at the nurses' station where I teamed with two other nursing students from AMA. I was tasked to get the temperature, height and weight measurements of the patients plus do a short interview to verify the patient's illness.

Boy, was it back breaking! Specially when the patients arrived in swarms! I've done a number of volunteer works in the past, especially when I was still in Philippine National Red Cross, but this was the first time that I really got into close contact with that many poor people in half a day. Some looked decent enough but a number came who looked like they haven't eaten anything in days. Some kids looked too malnourished and weak, and didn't have anything decent to wear. There was one who didn't even have footwear.

While I know that there isn't much I can do to alleviate their difficulties, I felt glad that I had the opportunity to do something, however insignificant it may seem. Plus of course I experienced it with the tulisans, and this is something we will remember for a long time.

Right after the medical mission, Lyndon fetched me because we were planning to watch game 2 of the UAAP games. Ms. Bong and Kuya Carlos dropped us off to Araneta coliseum where there was a huge crowd of students, alumni and school officials eagerly waiting for the 4PM game. We got good seats, thanks to Allan and Lyndon's friend Onjan from Araneta.

We were of course rooting for UST, with me being a Thomasian, and because of Allan Evangelista one of the star players of the UST tigers. Lyndon got him into the team many years back, and he has flourished into a very good player over the years. He always tell people how much he owes Lyndon for that opportunity to play with the Tigers. He's graduating next year and will soon be playing for the PBL and I'm sure eventually for the PBA.

During the game, I in m striking yellow shirt, was seated with Jen and Kathy (Lyndon's niece who's also a senior in UST) and other UST professors. It was like I was transported back to the mid 1990's when the UST tigers won championships 4 years in a row. The energy of the crowd was just overwhelming and my head was throbbing from yelling too much. I was on my feet, dancing and screaming at the top of my voice the whole time. Jen and I were also carrying huge placards that said "GO USTe" and we were gyrating to the drumbeat. After the game, we went to see Allan to personally congratulate him. He was so glad to see us there.

We had dinner at Dencio's afterwards and feasted on sinugba, sisig and sinampalukang manok. The dinner was in celebration of UST's victory that night and for Jen's birthday on the 5th. Dinner was of course spent discussing the game and Jen's blossoming friendship with Allan.

We got home at around 11PM and while my feet were killing me, I was exhilarated and smiled myself to sleep. Hopefully, my voice will come back by tomorrow. :-)

Good luck Tigers, go get them in Game 3!

Goodbye Boom, and thank you

2006-09-04T19:33:00.000+08:00

On Thursday, my sister texted me to say that Boom has passed away. Mauricio (Boom's real name) is Fel's cousin who has become a dear friend over the years. He was diagnosed to have a brain tumor in May, underwent an operation a few days after, and went into a coma a few weeks after that. To all of us, everything was so sudden, we didn't have time to say a proper goodbye or hold a feast in his honor and celebrate his colorful life. We all prayed that he would get better, but we also hoped that his suffering would end soon enough. He didn't deserve to be in so much pain. I would not want to dwell on the depressing circumstances of his illness and passing away, instead I would like to remember him for the great person that he is.

I've known Boom for about 5 to 6 years, from the time I regularly camped out in my sister's house on certain days. Being a late sleeper like me, he would often come banging on our gate so we can watch TV together. We were both "kapuso" and often bashed the other network's efforts. We liked watching beauty pageants, to laugh at the contestants, bubble gang to laugh at their commercial spoofs, and just about anything which we will eventually laugh about. That's how Boom is. He would find humor in the most banal situations; his mother's and relatives' booboos, jeff's antics, etc.

He also liked learning about interesting personalities like socialites, business moguls, artistas, etc. We often argued about the magazines I bring home which he would sometimes take without permission. He liked taking a peek at their lifestyle and getting a taste of what its like to be in their shoes. I remember when we got lost inside some mansion over at Dasma village. We went there to do floral arrangements for the lady of the house. The house was so big that we didn't know how to get out. Funny, really.

Boom also liked singing, and he sang very well. I remember feeling so good when he said I can sing, because coming from him, a voice coach, the comment was very flattering.

He loved splendid things and would gladly try out something new just know how it's like. Being very easy to please, he raved on small hand overs; chichirya, chocolates, moisturizer, t-shirt, whatever. He also liked sharing all his experiences, the places he's been to, the people he has met, his friends.

At 42, he hid the fact the he smokes, which I often teased him about. Sometimes, when he's in the house and lights up a cigarette, I would shout "Boom, pahiram ng lighter!" I laugh now, remembering his facial reaction and curses he would mouth to me. He was so worried, his mother would know.

These are the things I would miss about Boom. No more late night TV fare buddy, ka-kwentuhan and ka-tawanan. I know everything happens for a reason. Maybe God taught the angels in heaven need to laugh a bit more, so he sent for Boom.

You've lived a wonderful life my friend, see you someday.

Uncertainty

2006-08-21T22:04:00.000+08:00

Borrowing a friend's article title, I would like to talk about the recent happenings regarding my career.

A few weeks back, our HR director and our boss summoned out whole department to a closed door meeting. It was for the prupose of announcing the pending reorganization of the HR group. As a consequence, people might be displaced, transferred elsewhere or lose their jobs. The new organization will not happen until 2008, but changes will begin happening by third quarter of this year. With the announcement came a suggestion to start exploring career opportunities outside SMC. Of course there was much talk about us being highly employable to quell our anxiety about the impending change.

Just when I have made my decision to stay in SMC up until rertirement age...

I love being in San Miguel, not only do I learn something new each day, I am also in the company of people who have become dear friends. I take pride in our products (sometimes I get flak from my sisters because of my loyalty to SMC products), our heritage, and the kind of people that SMC breeds. Walking in the corridors (despite the worn out carpeting and wiggly panels) of the head office makes me feel at home. The guards and maintenance people are polite, the employees (well most) have a ready smile when you nod or say hi.

But then again, as I said before, sometimes decisions are not ours to be made. Sometimes, circumstances will dictate the direction.

I've posted a couple of applications on-line and got a couple of calls for interviews already. Let's see what happens next.

3 months after

2006-08-06T00:47:00.000+08:00

Three months since i last went here...

I've been getting flak about not updating my blog as often, but then again there's just so much in my hands at the moment that I can't even bother to get a pedicure...

May, June and July came and went and oh was it eventful! First, my dad came home on May 26, my sister got married on June 10 (oh yes I wore the yellow gown!), my dad went back to the states, etcetera etcetera...

All my time and energy is still spent on work most of the time and in renting and watching movies over the weekend. This is something that i've come to enjoy doing on my days off. One time, i did a seven-movie marathon for 2 days!

Last week i rented the movie adaptation of RENT and boy i loved it! Not only because Jesse L. Martin has been my long-time crush (I never thought he sings so well!), or that I simply adore musicals, but because the movie was just spectacular! I'm still raving about it and urge all my friends to watch it too. I even downloaded a RENT screensaver for my office PC. The songs were great and I promised myself to get a copy of the OST.

Note: picture courtesy of sonypictures.com

wedding pictures

2006-06-30T01:23:00.000+08:00

No time to write, actually so I'm just posting a few pics of my sister's wedding... For more pics, visit my sister's wedding blog: www.june2006.blogspot.com

ruminations

2006-05-07T20:24:00.000+08:00

Just this morning, Ate and I were talking about how old we now are, because she saw an old t-shirt which was about 6 years old. She distinctly remembers when the t-shirt was bought because it was what Fel wore to the surprise 30th birthday party we gave her. She's turning 37 in August, while I turned 32 early this year.

Me at 3 years old, My big sister at 8

Funny, I sometimes forget that 32 is big number, considering that at this age, my mom already had her third child (me) and was more or less completely settled with her life. She had started working again and much must have felt a lot certain for her.

Comparing it with where I am right now, I don't even feel that I am even half-way there (where I should be) or that I have at least taken the first step to certainty. I know I have a good job, I am with a person I truly love, I have friends and family whose loyalty are unquestionable...and yet there is this nagging feeling that I'm just going where my feet are taking me, and that I am not truly in control.

But making the best of what there is, has been a honed talent for me. I've come to learn that there is just much that life can give you. Even when you feel that you deserve more, sometimes the circumstances will completely invalidate that feeling. And so I learned to just deal with what life brings, and be thankful of the bonuses that come from time to time.

What comes with this pseudo-contentment state is the fear that I end up not getting what I really want in life. I used to be a go-getter, and dipped my fingers in what I felt would catapult me to greater heights. I used to work and study at the same time, wanting to earn my master's degree at 23. I owned a training firm at 24, ran a business at 25 and was an utter failure at 26. Life was very fast, and I was drowned in the waves of my stupidity. I used to think that by living fast, you get to claim success even faster. I should have taken it slow, made sure that I am able to digest the lessons of each experience, made each second count.

But God is good, He gave me another chance. Another opportunity to feel worthy of my parents' pride. But I'm taking it slow this time. Small, careful steps. Yeah, that's it. Small careful steps...

3-day weekend

2006-05-01T18:25:00.000+08:00

This 3-day weekend is a welcome break from all the pressures of work. Thank God for Labor Day!

On Saturday, I was able to see my long time friends again after months of hibernation in Pasig. Dinner at the Pilarta's house was, as always, sinful! There was adobo and pork barbecue and a nacho platter, plus of course dessert which is never missed whenever we have dinner there. This time, Princess baked a batch of Food for the Gods. I had two slices (good girl) with my coffee.

That night also, Annie brought her two toolboxes filled with make-up. After finishing her 10 week make-up class at Frank Provost, she was ready to continue practicing, with us as her models. Only Princess and I stood up to the challenge though, because Minnie was too sleepy to participate. I could say she did a good job with Princess and me (or is it because we're just naturally beautiful?.

On Sunday, Jen and I rented movies at Video City. We brought Jeff along so he could choose his own films. He did, and we ended up with Chicken Little and Wallace& Gromit for Jeff, Shutter and Sigaw for a horror fare, Crying Ladies, Hotel Rwanda and If Only. The last one, was Jen's request. We finished 5 of the seven movies in 24 hours! Talk about couch potatoes. There's not much to do around the house anyway. Plus the freaking heat is so intense! I wonder when summer will end?

Tomorrow, its back to work again but this time I will be handling OD instead of training. May 2 officially marks my transfer to OD. At this point I know I still have much to learn with this new assignment, but good thing I have a good boss whom I know will be able to mentor me well. I just hope I would live up to his expectations. Fingers crossed.

Summer Outing

2006-04-23T18:45:00.000+08:00

As if I didn't have enough to do, there was the CHR summer outing to contend with. With our boss concurrently holding the position of AMG Manager for CSU, we had to help out in planning and executing the summer outing for our department.

The venue was Blue Palm resort in Calamba Laguna. It was a very nice place where I'm planning to go back to, this time with the whole family in tow. Being in charge of the program and games, and all the preparations that went with it, we were busy almost the whole time with hardly a moment to rest, except in the afternoon. But it was fun, even when there were only about 50 of us who joined the outing.

During the raffle, guess what I was the lucky winner this year of a steam flat iron! What's so funny is, I won the same thing in our outing last year! Hahaha! I gave my prize last year to my big sister, so this new one goes to my mom this time.

Picture here was when we just arrived at the venue...

(standing LtoR) me, angel, tita presy, ed, kat (seated LtoR) Tizza, EDN, shiela, jonn and alvin

Poolside, with kat, john and ms. bong

A Vision in Yellow

2006-04-09T19:13:00.000+08:00

My goodness! Today we went to my sister's couturier for our gown fittings. It's barely 2 months to go before her wedding, thus the need to make sure that we stuck to our previous measurements. So there we were, 7 ladies of the bridal entourage, putting on our yellow gowns. And when i say yellow, i mean YELLOW!

Oh well, there's nothing we can do anyway so instead of complaining, we just made fun of ourselves. In fairness, my gown was a little loose (yeah right!).

After the fitting, we devoured some delicious fried chicken at Johnny's, a small eatery in the outskirts of pasig. The food was delish, but the place wasn't as clean as we wanted it. So there we were, all 12 of us, stuffing our faces with chicken and pansit. Ate and I went home afterwards because we were planning to have a foot spa. Good thing, our suking manikurista who does home service was available for the day and she even has the gadgets and gizmos and potions and what have you for a truly glorious foot spa! Hah, finally my feet felt a little pampering today.

Going back to my freaking yellow gown...There really was no problem with wearing yellow, but my goodness, when I saw myself in the mirror, I was a bit horrified. My vision in yellow seemed to yell back at me: Two months to go, what the heck are you gonna do?!!

Of course the quintessential answer...starve myself... if i can help it. :-)

A pat on my back

2006-04-03T22:53:00.000+08:00

Oh goodness, I can’t believe I survived the last four days!

I was conducting since Tuesday the Human Resource Management Program with SMC HR practitioners as participants. This is a huge thing for the training group because the program is the brainchild of our HR director and requires close coordination with about 12 resource speakers for the 4 day run. Just when I thought that everything was in place, I get a text message from 2 of my resource speakers on the first day, that they couldn’t possibly conduct their module because of flu. Goodness! So I ended up conducting their module instead. Fortunately, my participants never noticed the difference. That is even though I started studying the lecture just a few hours before.

Aside from that highly stressful program, I was conducting simultaneously on Thursday, an accreditation of Training Service Providers. So I was running from one building to the other, in my pumps!

Just when I was ready to put my feet up and get some rest, I got a text confirming my get together with my old office friends. Cecil came home from Illinois for a short vacation and is leaving on Sunday. So, tired as I was, I had to ride the MRT and walk to our meeting place in Glorietta. But had the most fun that night. We spent the whole night laughing about the most inane things. We of course ended dinner with coffee at Starbucks, but surprisingly, we all felt sleepy after drinking coffee. We also called Odette, now living and Sanfo, the other quarter of our foursome, but she was on her way to the office so we didn’t get to talk to her long. I got home really late but good thing the car fetched me so I didn’t have a hard time going home despite the rain.

Tonight, as I was looking back at the events of the past four days, I felt really proud of myself. I accomplished much, in terms of work responsibilities and nurturing relationships. So I give myself a pat on the back…

Goodbyes

2006-03-27T21:47:00.000+08:00

Felt sad today.

I just learned that one of my officemates is thinking of leaving SMC. I felt sad because he’s one really great guy, in terms of work competencies and building friendships. In a short time, I’ve come to appreciate the person that he is, the kind of father, husband and friend that he is. I also learned much from him, as he is always willing to share what he knows and finds joy and being able to teach.

But then again, his reasons for leaving are quite valid, and I’m sure that he will have better opportunities elsewhere. It’s just sad knowing that a person can truly be a victim of circumstances, of which he has no control. In the past, I always believed that you always have a hand on things that will happen to you, but with his sad story, I realized that sometimes that is not the case.

I just wish him well, since that is all I can do. And I just hope the friendship will remain.

Changes

2006-03-24T22:51:00.000+08:00

Its been a while since I wrote here, and much, oh so much has happened since then.

For one, I let go of the studio type apartment I was renting with Nonoy and we now live with my big sister in Pasig.

So far it’s been good. It’s nearer my office so waking up is not a big hassle anymore. Another plus is that I get to see my nephew everyday. The only downside is that I don’t get to spend much time with my friends, being far away and all. I do miss my friends, it’s just that along with my move is a restructuring done in our office, which resulted in tons of responsibility for myself. I often get migraines because of stress.

Don’t get me wrong, I do love my job. In fact I welcome the challenge of team leading the training group. But sometimes I do feel worn out. It’s a good thing that I have coworkers who are more than willing to help me out when it’s tough.

My coworkers and I started a badminton date every Thursday. Its our way of relieving stress and enjoying something together at the same time. We had the most fun last week when we played for the first time. I hope we can do this regularly, it’s not only good exercise but a way to see each other in a different light. At least our interactions aren’t confined within the four wall of the office alone.

Abandoning the LoveNest

2006-01-27T18:47:00.000+08:00

In a couple of weeks, I will be giving up my apartment and moving to my sister's home. Now that she's in Dubai, her partner asked me if I could move to their place and rent there instead. The idea caught my attention since I've been wanting to cut down on my expenses in order to start saving and eventually buying my own place. This of course cannot happen if I spend so much on house rent and electricity. At least now, my plan to get a rent-to-own condominium has a bigger chance of materializing.

I know there will be a number of changes, both positive and otherwise as a consequence of my move to Pasig. After all, the house won't be mine and Lyndon's alone, so therefore there is a need to adjust not only with each other but our other housemates. But we've lived there for sometime so I guess it won't be too much of a hassle.

One positive change of course is that my residence will be nearer the office, thus I won't be as tired from the viaje when I go home at night. Another plus factor is that Jeff will be nearer and this is my chance to fulfill my promise to my sister that I will look after him.

Just this morning on my way to work, I was already imagining what things will be like once we move. I hope to recreate the humble place we've started because that's one place I felt at home the most.

Weekend Madness

2005-11-13T19:40:00.000+08:00

Had the most fun over the weekend. Friday night was SMC songfest elimination night. After the event, I spent the night at my Ate's house in Pasig. As usual, I was a bit tipsy when I got home, having drank about a couple of pitchers of draft beer. I went straight to bed and was awakened by my little nephew calling me. "Mommy!," he said. And then he looked at me again and said "Ay, tita dap!" He then kissed me and told me to get up because it was morning already. He even sort of scolded me that everyone was awake already and I'm the only one sleeping. That little brat! :D

At about 10AM my other sister (our youngest) arrived with her fiance because she was scheduled for a trial make-up at my sister's house. The result was pretty good but both my ate and I were telling her that we don't feel much for her make-up artist. It seems that there is something more to her than meets the eye. Oh well, so much for intuition, she did a good job with my sister's make-up anyway.

By mid afternoon as we were watching TV, I broached the idea of watching a comedy show at Klownz. It's been a while since we sisters went out together for the night so it was really exciting to be with them again. The show was hilarious! We stayed on until the end which was about 2am already. We also saw Allan K outside the bar after the show so my sister and her fiance asked for a picture with him. He was very gracious and readily agreed. My Ate and Fel brought me home and we got there before 3am. I had a really great time. I wish we could do it again soon...

Of oompa loompas and childhood memories...

2005-11-06T14:47:00.000+08:00

Woke up at 11AM today and spent most of the day watching television. Hooray for long weekends!

Lat night, I watched the remake of Willy Wonka at my bestfriend's house, "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" it was called. It was a fun movie but I still prefer the original version with Gene Wilder. I remember when my sister and I used to recite the lines and sing the songs together with the characters in the movie. We've seen it too many times to memorize each line.

My siblings and I grew up watching many films, most of which we've memorized from playing it over and over. My dad sent those VHS tapes regularly that we've built a library of various movies and TV shows. Our collection of sitcoms and TV series were recorded by my dad from his television, he'd send it along with other goodies in a balikbayan box. I could say my dad was among the first "pirata". We didn't have cable TV when we were growing up but we were attuned to various hit shows in the US in those days. seinfeld, mad about you, friends, grace under fire, home improvement, ER, the practice... I guess dad found a way to bring some of America to us through these shows.

Going back to Willy Wonka, the new version featured oompa loompas bearing just one frightening face. Kids could get nightmares staring at that face! He looked disgruntled if not resentful of his job at the chocolate factory...

The original oompa loompas had orange faces and green hair and looked much happier. I remember when my ate's 6-footer boyfriend used to tease her that when they have kids, they'd be as small as oompa loompas and he would proceed to imitate their dance moves. Many years thereafter, my sister now of course has an oompa loompa of her own, no thanks to her boyfriend, our lovey, Jeff-jeff.

I wonder if I'll ever have an oompa loompa of my own. Chances are not that big since I have polycystic ovaries, the doctors say. I will have my annual PE next week and maybe I will ask the doctor then, just to be sure. If it will be found that I can have kids, maybe I'd change my mind about bearing a child of my own. I'd look up to see if 2007 will be a good year to be pregnant. :-)

My cubbyhole

2005-11-04T23:10:00.000+08:00

It's November, and Christmas is just a few weeks away.

I wonder what Christmas this year would be like. I don't intend to spend Christmas elsewhere, I mean I still want to spend it with my Family. Hopefully, between Xmas and now, I'd get the courage to face my mom.

On weekends, I often think about dropping by, especially when my big sister and her family are spending the weekend at Tambo. Well, like today. But I always debate with myself whether I should go or not. And all the time the "no" wins. Oh maybe, I'd convince my other self next time.

A number of things have been added to my house. Like furniture for the dining area and sala. I got them really cheap at Dapitan Arcade with the help of my best friend's hubby. I got seven pieces of furniture for just P2800! How cheap is that! But i had to have the sofa and chair upholstered first. And when they were done, my little cubbyhole looked a lot better.

Nonoy and I were talking about dressing up the place for Christmas, but I was thinking, "my place is so small, I wouldn't have space to walk around if i add more knick-knacks." But I do love decorating, and that has been my unofficial assignment at my mom's house for as long as I can remember. I don't know, I think I just have this patience for prettying up a place using what ever it is I can get my hands on.

There are still a few more things I need for the house and little by little, I'd be able to complete everything. I cook now, because I have my stove and kitchen things already. I love cooking! It has become another hobby for me. I even cooked for a whole bunch of people for Nonoy's birthday, and got a lot of praises for it.

Oh no, I'm beginning to sound like a wifey....scary!

Dinner at Seven...

2005-09-01T08:58:00.000+08:00

Got a text from my friend on Thursday, ""kita-kits at our place on Saturday." Then again on Saturday morning, "please come early, sabi ni atorni. They'll arrive at 7."

Come 6PM on Saturday, I was still in my pajamas, watching television. Not that I didn't want to go but I was home alone and I was savoring every moment of peace, without Nonoy who keeps changing the channels when we watch TV together.

But I did go, and had a great time with my longtime friends. Of course we did what we always do, "talk about those who did not come"!

The day after, I told somebody how the dinner went, and that we did "talk about those who were not around". Her reaction was.."akala ko ba magkakaibigan kayo?" And I said, "Exactly! kaya nga namin kayang gawin yun eh..."

Day Thirty-Seven

2005-08-25T04:50:00.000+08:00

Today is the 37th day since I moved out of my mom's house and while there are nights when I cry myself to sleep, I try to keep strong and stand firm on my decision.

I was aware even before I made my decision to move out, that it's not going to be easy. And so being ovewhelmed by my present circumstances is already an expected feeling. It doesn't make things easier, but at least it abates the feeling of dread. . .the fear that I will fail in the process.

I miss my family, and that's the hardest part. I will not talk of the unending bills, the mountainous laundry, the cable connection sans my favorite channels, or the little mouse that causes me to jump in fright at least once a day. All these things I can handle, or try my best to survive or get used to, but not being able to see my mom or call my dad breaks me apart. It's not that they've severed me from the family tree, I just feel that it's not yet the proper time to get in touch. I get news about the family from my big sister and for that I feel so grateful. My ate was true to her word; when I told her about my decision, she told me "basta kahit saan ka pumunta, hahanapin pa rin kita. Hindi ako papayag na maputol ang communication natin. Bukas ang bahay ko anytime you need to come here."

Last week I did just that. I spent the night at my sister's house. When before, my ate goes to bed at 9:00, that night, she waited up for me. And we spent the night talking and updating each other of happenings in our lives. It was not the kind of conversation that touched on the heart, but I did appreciate every moment because for a while then, I felt like things were back to normal. That night too, I got to see my Jeff-jeff and was amused at the words coming out of his 4-year old mouth.

Surprisingly, while I perfectly enjoyed playing with my Jeff-jeff again, I missed my own place. Sometime during the night I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep again. I missed my bed and the creaking sound it makes everytime I turn, I missed my new bedsheet in fake Burberry plaid design, but most of all I missed the snore of my housemate.

When I came home the following night, Nonoy and I had a fight. Nah, not exactly a fight because I was the only one upset and he was trying to appease me the whole time. I got angry because he did not buy drinking water and I didn't have anything to drink when I got home. Then the issue went to the toilet bowl that he didn't flush, and the laundry that's beginning to pile up again. Petty stuff, yes.

There will be more of this I know, it's only day thirty-seven after all.

I'm a disappointment...

2005-08-03T05:52:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was my ate's birthday. I wanted to see her but she told me they are having her birthday dinner at my mom's house. Hmmm...can't do that just yet.

Later, on my way home I got a text from my mom. . ."Thank you sa bigas. Hindi ako galit, just disappointed." I had my month's rice ration taken to her house that afternoon.

I didn't know if I should be relieved to know that my mom is not angry with me, but making her feel "disappointed" in me feels even worse. It's as if i've completely failed her, and that whatever good things I've done in the past do not matter now.

Good things? I haven't done much. Not in my mother's eyes at least. That's why when she said I disappointed her. . . I just told myself, "this is not something new." My mom has always expected more from me than her other kids. I don't know why, or would I bother knowing why. It's just something I had to live with all my life. I needed to do more, earn more, win more, learn more, know more, just because.

So now I have a new role. I am the disappointment. Oh well...

Funny Freezer

2005-08-01T14:25:00.000+08:00

Two weeks, well almost. It has been two weeks since we've moved in. The place continue to look a little better with each passing day, a few more things have been added, not without putting a strain to my bank account. But then again, each centavo I put into our humble abode is all worth it.

We have a teeny weeny refrigerator now. Funny because the tiny freezer freezes only one side of the ice we put in. =) We have to turn the ice over to freeze the other side! Hahaha!

On Our Own

2005-07-27T03:20:00.000+08:00

Tuesday, July 19, 2005 is most memorable for me as this was the day when I gathered all the guts to leave home and begin a life with my Nonoy. It wasn't easy making this decision, despite the fact that I've been toying with the idea for some months now. I never thought I would finally get around and make it for real. It's sad to think that my decision was brought about by unpleasant circumstances; and while I cannot put all of that behind me I know better than to wade in a pool of depression. I need to get up, get out and face what lies ahead for me.

Finding our own place wasn't very easy, considering that we only had 1 whole day to do it. So when we found this studio type apartment near my bestfriend's place, we grabbed the opportunity and moved in. I didn't have anything with me except a few bags of clothes. Good thing my bestfriend's husband had a few items we could buy to help us start out (flourescent lights, a bed, a personal fridge, and a dining set). He also threw in their old dinner wares for free.

The following day, I bought myself a television set (a great necessity for me!) and pillows. Good thing my bestfriend allowed me to use her credit card, otherwise I would never be able to make that purchase.

On Saturday my bestfriend and I went to Divisoria to buy a few more things for the house. I bought about a thousand pesos worth of plastic wares (pails, tabo, dish rack, shoe rack, hangers, laundry hampers, bathroom organizer, dustpan, etc.). Walking along J. Luna, we came across a linen store, so I was able to get a set of bed linens and pillowcases. I also bought a Mickey Mouse wall clock which now adorns our wall.

On Sunday, Nonoy and I went to SM San Lazaro to get a few more necessities. Another pair of pillows, venetian blinds (to replace the curtains Annie lent me), cleaning tools (a mop and toilet brush), a light bulb, hooks and screws, etc.

Yesterday, we went to Tambunting to buy a TV rack and a closet. So now my TV is not on the floor anymore and our clothes have moved out of the suitcase.

I could blab on and on about all the things I've bought for the house and this would probably cause you to be bored sooner or later. I simply need to chronicle each new furniture, utensil, screw or nail because I'm mighty proud that all these are mine. At thirty-one, I finally feel like a grown up!

Our place is beginning to take shape, looking more organized and comfortable now than the first day we moved in. Hopefully, someday, I could say the same for my life with Nonoy. One day, I will look back at this post and be amused by our humble beginnings.