Yesterday afternoon, I was having an animated conversation with a colleague while we were eating shing-a-ling at my desk. She was telling me about her experience working in a convent school and the disappointing yet hilarious instances when she had to deal with the quirks of her boss. Somewhere along the conversation, the topic centered on age. She mentioned that at her age (39) she often feels and sometimes thinks or acts like she’s still 18. Then she asked me, how about you what age are you in? I thought for a second and said, “I feel that I’m stuck at 25.”
Now that I ponder why I said that, I realize that I really am stuck at 25. While my looks would defy that statement to the hilt, my mind says a different thing.
Some proof that I still am 25…
- I still get surprised or amused when I hear of former classmates/schoolmates who get married or have a child.
- I still enjoy playing computer games and can last one whole weekend in front of my laptop running the lives of my SIMS™.
- I still like playing pranks on people or fooling around with my friends. I still laugh heartily and without care in the world if something is really funny.
- I still feel that there is so much to learn in the world especially in terms of the career path I’ve taken. Thank God I have a boss who likes to teach as much as I like to learn.
- I’m still irresponsible and impulsive when it comes to handling money and still feel that it’s not the most important thing in the world.
- I still feel emotionally unequipped to have a child.
- I still laze around the TV even if there are stacks of dirty dishes on my sink.
- I still sleep late even when I get migraines from lack of it.
- I still enjoy junk food and put in as much fat and salt in my diet.
- I still enjoy the company of twenty-somethings, who make up my circle of friends at work.
- I still get a pimple every now and then.
- I still look at each day as a fresh new start, an opportunity to make a big difference (which I sometimes do not dare take).
But then again, no matter how many times I tell myself I am 25, these things happen to my days:
- My joints ache when I wake up to a cold morning.
- I pay bills and shop for grocery to run my household.
- The government takes out 32% off my paycheck for taxes.
- The songs of my teens are now classics, and some have been revived by new singers.
- Two of my nephews are teenagers now, one will be a high school freshman by June.
- My younger sister is 30 and her little one is now a year old.
- My laughlines are more pronounced and I see more grey hair on my head.
Maybe time did pass, I just refused to acknowledge it. Hoping that by doing so I can believe that the decisions of my past will not permanently engrave my future.
And now at thirty-five, I'd like to believe that I still have plenty of future left. I can feel it in my bones (which go creak on a cold morning).
