split-second madness...lifetime consequences

How do you get over losing someone in such a tragic way? Do you ever?

My best friend of over 20 years lost her brother one fateful February day. He spent four days in the ICU after being struck in the head with a blunt object. It was a deliberate act, the perpetrator’s way of getting even over something so insignificant. And because of that a wife lost the husband to whom she has dedicated her life. Because of that one stupid act, two boys will grow up, fighting their own battles, making sense of the world without a father to guide them through. A family will spend the rest of tomorrow asking questions they may never find the answers to.

The day I went to the hospital, I felt part of the pain that the rest of the family was feeling. I can only imagine the mixture of emotions they are experiencing…anger, grief, disbelief…

If only if it weren’t so sudden, if only there was a chance for a proper goodbye, an opportunity to assure that everything will be okay despite his leaving.

The greatest pain comes from knowing that his life was taken away by someone who did not think twice to measure how much his life is worth to his family and friends. Here is a man who is a great provider, a loving husband and a dutiful son, and yet his life is taken away in a spur of a moment, a result of a trivial issue that could have been easily resolved.

Words of condolences uttered may be worthless at the moment. It can never dull the pain no matter what. Words of assurance that he is now in the presence of his Maker, may even sound too condescending. For now I can only offer prayers for the family. Prayers to help them heal. There is no way to hasten the process of healing, it will be a rough and bumpy ride but the whole family must commit to hold hands throughout the journey.

I know it will take long, maybe years to understand why something like this has to happen. Only God knows the answers, only He knows why.

Reconnecting

On Friday, after our yearend party in the office, I went to Katips in Scout Torrillo to meet up, this time with my grade school friends. I have been absent in a number of our get-togethers for months, so I took it upon myself to attend the party this time. Ms. Bong and Kuya Carlos willingly drove me to the place (despite its being quite a distance from their destination), so I arrived there in time for the 7:30 schedule. As expected, only Mike, the perennial early bird was there. I brought a couple of SMB bottle openers as a gift to the early birds so he got one from me right away. Soon after, Danette arrived (so she got the other bottle opener) and we started chatting away as we feasted on crispy liempo, pakbet and fried hito.

Seven more came (Jom, Darwin, Geoff, Ashley, Kit, Vernon and Ton) and arrived one by one; most of came from work while others from spending a day with their kids. As usual, the banters focused on grade school days as we tried to remember the names of our past teachers and schoolmates. What I love about this group is that while most of the time each of us is busy being an adult, when we get together, its grade school all over again; minus the pretenses and inanity of childhood. We just let our hair down and be who we have become. I likewise feel the sincerity of these people, and while I was not really close to them in grade school (they’ve always teased me about being snobbish when we were kids) I’m doubly pleased I found them again.

from L to R: Darwin, Vernon, Ashley, Kit, Ton, Geoff, Me and Jom; standing: Mike and Danette

We capped the night (or morning… it was past 2AM when we left Katips) with coffee, not really wanting to separate ways just yet. Jom needed 5 more stickers to get his complementary planner so all nine of us (minus Darwin who left earlier, his flight back to California was next day) trooped to Starbucks to make our contribution. And since we took part in his success (of getting enough stickers), we told Jom we will write him a dedication on the page of our birthdays.

Geoff and Jom drove me home since they were on their way to Las Piñas. I got home a few minutes before 4AM; the latest I’ve been out on a gimmick since time immemorial. We promised to see each other again a few days after my birthday…no problem…as long as I’m not expected to pick up the tab.

My December

You can tell just how hectic the past month had been. Last entry was November 17? Really pathetic, I should say. But then again I didn’t have a choice. It’s either I’m too spent to blog or simply not in the mood.

In fact, I’m not in the mood to do anything worthwhile, like paint or read a book. I’m just too lazy these days! Must be the weather. Anyway, here is my attempt to look back at my December…

December 1 and 2
The long weekend was spent in Antipolo, conducting a Corporate Values Training Program for the HR department of one of our beer plants. The weather was cold, being in the boondocks, and the participants were just great. After the training program (which lasted up to 10PM, we then hied off to the restaurant penthouse for a Christmas party. I had a couple of beers but was just too tired to drink more.

December 9
Went to see my mom so I could buy her a dress for my friend’s wedding. She’s one of the principal sponsors so I promised her a gown for the event. Funny, my mom is “ninang” of all my friends who got married. Probably their way of thanking her for spending most afternoons at our house when we were in high school. We used to ransack our pantry for whatever food stock we can get our hands on (usually making do with Spam™ or corned beef) and my mom would return home from work finding her pantry raided yet again. She could only shake her head, realizing how ravenous teenagers could be.

December 14
Kat, John, and I together with 3 other officemates went to Alabang for an outreach program sponsored by our company. The Haven was a secluded institution which houses women who have experienced rape or abuse/maltreatment in their relationships. The women go through counseling and medical treatment (they have a small hospital there) and they are also taught livelihood skills to get them ready for life outside the institution. We went there to bring gifts and treat them to a sumptuous lunch. We also prepared a short program for them consisting of games and a dance number. Since I prepared the program, I was volunteered to be the emcee as well (sigh). However tiring the morning was, I felt pretty good knowing that I was able to help, in one way or another.

That night, John, Kat and I bought gifts for Sir Alvin and Ms. Bong at Kultura in Megamall. We also bought our exchange gifts for the OPD party on Saturday. My feet were killing me because of the new shoes I bought (I think they’re the wrong size). We had dinner at the food court were I devoured maki and tempura (yumyum!). Thankfully, Lyndon was with me because I was spent with all the walking we did. At least I had someone to carry my stuff and massage my feet afterwards.

December 15
The following day, we went to Tiendesitas (this time with Leo in tow), a nice flea market near our office. We ate dinner first, gearing up for the long night ahead; the place is quite big and it would take patience and stamina to go through all the villages. The stores are segregated into villages depending on what you intend to shop for (pets, clothes, household items, antiques, etc.). We finally gave up around 10pm, too tired to go on, and yet we haven’t explored the entire place. I went home with a few toys, blouses and whatnots.

December 16
On Saturday, I had to wake up very early because I had to go to Quezon City to buy chocolate bars for the fondue. I promised my boss I’d bring the fondue and the chocolates, so I had to go to my favorite baking store (Chocolate Lovers) , wait in line for 30 minutes (the place was jampacked!) then run to my mom’s house to get the fondue set. I had to make it back to Ortigas by 1:30 or I would miss the ride going to my boss’ house. I chose to ride the train to Ortigas, thinking that it will get me there faster, but lo and behold, the line was about a mile long! But I had to bear with it because getting a cab was out of the question. Getting a cab in Manila at the height of a Christmas Season is a miracle, if you believe in one…

I finally got to Ortigas at 2PM, and hitched a ride with Sir Alvin. We arrived at Ms. Beth’s house around 4PM, just in time for the party. Now let me talk in pictures so I can share what happened during the party

December 21
Our department, the Corporate Human Resources held its Christmas Party on Thursday afternoon. This year’s theme was movie awards night so each unit has to represent a particular movie and dress up in costumes. We chose to present Austin Powers – Goldmember so we had to don a 70’s get-up. It was fun! I even convinced my best friend to drop by during lunch break to attach false eyelashes on me. I later put on a 70’s make-up and let my hair go wild (as in, literally). People stared as I walked around the corridors of the office, but who cares?! I was having fun playing the part.

I later ended up with an award as the Female Star of the Night! Didn’t expect to win, not even sure if I liked the attention, but the jacket I won was cool! Funny thing, John won for the male counterpart…thanks to Kat for providing our wardrobe.

December 23
My good friends Rex and OT finally got married (after four years of going steady) at the Sacred Heart Church in Makati. Their wedding reception followed at the Wack-Wack Country Club(note: pictures to follow). Annie and I emceed at the reception and of course we were our usual silly selves. Rex wanted the program to be as light or even funny as possible. No problem with the latter because when Annie and I are on stage, we almost always end up like Abbot & Costello or Champoy even.

from L to R: Chuck, Tony, Annie, Vivien, Rex, OT, Princess, Me, Minnie, Ojie; below: Anton and Jon

However, there were also emotional parts in the program (uhm, not to our credit though) like when Rex and OT had their first dance. Rex sang the firs part of Forevermore, and I'm sure everyone in the room felt the intensity of the newlyweds' love for each other. I am praying that their marriage will be as happy and delightfully colorful as the wedding had been.

December 24
I slept over at my mom’s house after the wedding and spent the whole day in front of the computer, playing Mystery Case Files™. Before the day ended, I had an awful headache which lasted until Christmas day.

Mommie spent the whole day tinkering around the kitchen. We of course had our usual Noche Buena at 12 midnight with Jef almost half asleep but tremendously excited at the thought of opening his gifts (he’s been pestering the whole family about it since morning). But I did love the look on Jef’s face as he opened his WWE action figures one by one. It’s what you can call a Kodak™ moment.

Honestly, I’m quite sad that I don’t get excited anymore with the coming of Christmas. Probably because I tend to equate its coming with gift expenses, heavy traffic, obligations and all the other hassles that come with it. I remember when I used to anticipate our Noche Buena because of the prospect of getting to stay up late (when we were kids, bedtime was at 8:30) and getting gifts even! I don’t remember when Christmas has lost its glory for me. Probably when daddy left for the states. All of a sudden, my Christmas never felt the same.

This is the 20th Christmas dad, and yes I’m still counting.