Uncertainty

Borrowing a friend's article title, I would like to talk about the recent happenings regarding my career.

A few weeks back, our HR director and our boss summoned out whole department to a closed door meeting. It was for the prupose of announcing the pending reorganization of the HR group. As a consequence, people might be displaced, transferred elsewhere or lose their jobs. The new organization will not happen until 2008, but changes will begin happening by third quarter of this year. With the announcement came a suggestion to start exploring career opportunities outside SMC. Of course there was much talk about us being highly employable to quell our anxiety about the impending change.

Just when I have made my decision to stay in SMC up until rertirement age...

I love being in San Miguel, not only do I learn something new each day, I am also in the company of people who have become dear friends. I take pride in our products (sometimes I get flak from my sisters because of my loyalty to SMC products), our heritage, and the kind of people that SMC breeds. Walking in the corridors (despite the worn out carpeting and wiggly panels) of the head office makes me feel at home. The guards and maintenance people are polite, the employees (well most) have a ready smile when you nod or say hi.

But then again, as I said before, sometimes decisions are not ours to be made. Sometimes, circumstances will dictate the direction.

I've posted a couple of applications on-line and got a couple of calls for interviews already. Let's see what happens next.

A Vision in Yellow

My goodness! Today we went to my sister's couturier for our gown fittings. It's barely 2 months to go before her wedding, thus the need to make sure that we stuck to our previous measurements. So there we were, 7 ladies of the bridal entourage, putting on our yellow gowns. And when i say yellow, i mean YELLOW!

Oh well, there's nothing we can do anyway so instead of complaining, we just made fun of ourselves. In fairness, my gown was a little loose (yeah right!).

After the fitting, we devoured some delicious fried chicken at Johnny's, a small eatery in the outskirts of pasig. The food was delish, but the place wasn't as clean as we wanted it. So there we were, all 12 of us, stuffing our faces with chicken and pansit. Ate and I went home afterwards because we were planning to have a foot spa. Good thing, our suking manikurista who does home service was available for the day and she even has the gadgets and gizmos and potions and what have you for a truly glorious foot spa! Hah, finally my feet felt a little pampering today.

Going back to my freaking yellow gown...There really was no problem with wearing yellow, but my goodness, when I saw myself in the mirror, I was a bit horrified. My vision in yellow seemed to yell back at me: Two months to go, what the heck are you gonna do?!!

Of course the quintessential answer...starve myself... if i can help it. :-)

Abandoning the LoveNest

In a couple of weeks, I will be giving up my apartment and moving to my sister's home. Now that she's in Dubai, her partner asked me if I could move to their place and rent there instead. The idea caught my attention since I've been wanting to cut down on my expenses in order to start saving and eventually buying my own place. This of course cannot happen if I spend so much on house rent and electricity. At least now, my plan to get a rent-to-own condominium has a bigger chance of materializing.

I know there will be a number of changes, both positive and otherwise as a consequence of my move to Pasig. After all, the house won't be mine and Lyndon's alone, so therefore there is a need to adjust not only with each other but our other housemates. But we've lived there for sometime so I guess it won't be too much of a hassle.

One positive change of course is that my residence will be nearer the office, thus I won't be as tired from the viaje when I go home at night. Another plus factor is that Jeff will be nearer and this is my chance to fulfill my promise to my sister that I will look after him.

Just this morning on my way to work, I was already imagining what things will be like once we move. I hope to recreate the humble place we've started because that's one place I felt at home the most.

Day Thirty-Seven

Today is the 37th day since I moved out of my mom's house and while there are nights when I cry myself to sleep, I try to keep strong and stand firm on my decision.

I was aware even before I made my decision to move out, that it's not going to be easy. And so being ovewhelmed by my present circumstances is already an expected feeling. It doesn't make things easier, but at least it abates the feeling of dread. . .the fear that I will fail in the process.

I miss my family, and that's the hardest part. I will not talk of the unending bills, the mountainous laundry, the cable connection sans my favorite channels, or the little mouse that causes me to jump in fright at least once a day. All these things I can handle, or try my best to survive or get used to, but not being able to see my mom or call my dad breaks me apart. It's not that they've severed me from the family tree, I just feel that it's not yet the proper time to get in touch. I get news about the family from my big sister and for that I feel so grateful. My ate was true to her word; when I told her about my decision, she told me "basta kahit saan ka pumunta, hahanapin pa rin kita. Hindi ako papayag na maputol ang communication natin. Bukas ang bahay ko anytime you need to come here."

Last week I did just that. I spent the night at my sister's house. When before, my ate goes to bed at 9:00, that night, she waited up for me. And we spent the night talking and updating each other of happenings in our lives. It was not the kind of conversation that touched on the heart, but I did appreciate every moment because for a while then, I felt like things were back to normal. That night too, I got to see my Jeff-jeff and was amused at the words coming out of his 4-year old mouth.

Surprisingly, while I perfectly enjoyed playing with my Jeff-jeff again, I missed my own place. Sometime during the night I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep again. I missed my bed and the creaking sound it makes everytime I turn, I missed my new bedsheet in fake Burberry plaid design, but most of all I missed the snore of my housemate.

When I came home the following night, Nonoy and I had a fight. Nah, not exactly a fight because I was the only one upset and he was trying to appease me the whole time. I got angry because he did not buy drinking water and I didn't have anything to drink when I got home. Then the issue went to the toilet bowl that he didn't flush, and the laundry that's beginning to pile up again. Petty stuff, yes.

There will be more of this I know, it's only day thirty-seven after all.