Angelic Encounters

I never liked kids. I find them too much to handle. They are loud, messy and constantly needing of attention. They need to be entertained, fed, bathed, taught, disciplined, put to bed, etc. Things I’d rather do for myself alone. I vowed not to have any kids in the future. I don’t want to be a mommy; it’s just too much responsibility for the likes of me.

But everything changed 12 years ago. A little boy came to the family and amused everyone with his big round eyes and curly hair. He was so tiny, a few ounces short of 5 pounds. He looked so fragile, so weak, but he made everyone feel light inside. Just a few days after his arrival, I knew I was in love.

I never thought it would be possible to fall in love twice, and at the same time. But exactly a year after the first angel came, a second cherub made its way to my heart. He was as small as the first and quite as fragile too. But the same thing happened, again I fell in love.

My life was never the same again with the 2 boys around. All of a sudden I was anticipating their every smirk, smile, coo and pout. A few months after, I graduated to first words, first steps, new expressions and new antics. Fast forward to pre-school years, I had to be up-to-date with news of their achievements in school; I had to be present in every major school event, and would sit proudly amongst the crowd, beaming at my two angels.

A few years ago, Gabriel and Rafael had to go to the states to be with their Dad (my kuya) for good. It was a heartbreaking time of my life, knowing that I will no longer be a first row spectator to their young lives. No more unexpected phone calls from radar because Gabriel didn’t want to finish his homework. No more encounters with a tearful Raffy because he didn’t want to take his medicine. No more squeals of delight when I bring treats home or fights to referee because someone didn’t have his turn with the PS2. No more butts to wash, faces to clean, hairs to comb. No more big hugs, wet kisses.

My two angels are big boys now. A few years shy of adolescence. I’ve missed a major part of their childhood, and I know that is something that can never be brought back. But I am thankful that they have grown into fine young men; smart, talented and respectful.

Gabriel and Raffy, Happy Birthday to you both. You are always in Tita Daph’s prayers. I miss you so much and I always pray that we’ll see each other again.